Why isn't 'Batgirl' a valid career choice?

So, the guy from Thursday actually spoke to me again yesterday, meaning I didn't make a total ass out of myself!

We ended up in conversation, exchanged names and then I figured out the two of us have absolutely nothing in common.  He's still nice and I think I'd kind of like to keep him around as a friend, but anything past that would be out of the questiong following the initial screen.  But, on the plus side I TALKED TO SOMEONE!  My social phobia is still there, but it's a step, right?  Right?  RIGHT?

I know.  I'll shut up now.

    ...my proud tradition of being completely incompetant when trying to chat up boys.

I've been checking out this guy at my bus stop for several months now.  He's extremely cute (red hair in a faux hawk, pierced, and really nice eyes) and a few weeks ago I saw him reading "Choke" by Chuck Palhaniuk.  I'd read it earlier this year and thought it was a good conversation starter.  However, I waited until today to say anything.

And as soon as we started talking I BLANKED ON EVERYTHING ABOUT THE BOOK.

So, I completely embarrassed myself and then had to endure the awkwardness of a bus ride with this guy, both of us with our I-Pods on and me trying not to make even more of an idiot out of myself, which is more challenging than it sounds.

So, yeah.  I think I'm going back to the "meeting new people = bad idea" theory I normally subscribe to.

So if everything goes as planned my birthday weekend in November will include my trip up to NYC.  It looks like everything is going to fall together juuuust about perfectly, which makes me very, very happy.

Other than my painful emergency room experience things have been going really well lately.  Too well.  I'm starting to get suspiscious.  The universe never treats me this well unless it's got something planned for me.

*shifty eyes*

No more pain, which is awesome.  Spending a weekend at home by the pool which is even more awesome.

NO DOUBT IS BACK IN THE RECORDING STUDIO!  And and and and and...THEY PERFORMED LIVE TOGETHER AS A SURPRISE AT GWEN'S SOLO CONCERT!

Gwen?  You getting your head back on straight again?  'Cause I'd love to return to my rightful place as a Gwenabee.  You know it.

So, last night's chain of events as best I can remember them:

Ow, my abdomen hurts like hell.

Oh, look, vomit.  Well that helped.

Wait, no it didn't.  Oh, more vomit.

Hello?  Ambulance?  Come get me plzkthnks.

SHIT SHIT I'M DYING OW FUCK SHIT THAT HURTS MY OVARIES ARE EXPLODING.

NO REALLY, SITTING IN A FUCKING WAITING ROOM IS NOT HELPING.

LOOK, BITCH, THEY TOOK MY BLOOD PRESSURE HALF AN HOUR AGO, BEFORE YOU MADE ME SIT IN THE WAITING ROOM.

WHY THE HELL IS THERE NO DOCTOR HERE?

NO, REALLY?  WTF?  2 HOURS OF PAIN!

YOU SON OF A FUCKING...ooooh....painkillers :DDDDD

Why thank you, sir, I'm glad to hear I have nice ovaries.  Now can I take the camera out of my vagina?

Ooooh...more painkillers :DDDDDDDD

Y halo thar CT scan machine.  You make funny noises.

Mmmmm...painkillers.

You know, sleeping with an IV in your arm?  Not easy.

Oh, good morning!  I see you've brought me anti-biotics!

YOU'RE ADMITTING ME? DDDDDD:

Oh, for observation.

No, really, it doesn't hurt anymore.

Yes, you can use me as an example for med students.

No, really, it doesn't hurt anymore.

THIS WAS ALL OVER A FUCKING KIDNEY STONE?  THAT WAS THE WORST PAIN EVER!

Oh...it's supposed to be?  Okay then.  Can I go home?

*GOES HOME.  EATS SUSHI*

I hate that I can forget what I really look like and how other people really see me.

Sometimes I'll let myself fall into the trap of thinking that just because I look better I look good. There's a difference.

It's all angles and smoke and mirrors that let a girl like me pretend I'm not a girl like me.  And they're sometimes enough to make me think I shouldn't have to settle.

I don't deserve the things I want.  I'm still about 30 pounds too  heavy for that.

The fact that I was a huge fan of this show in my youth should serve to explain a whole lot about me.

And yes, he's still in Brazil, I haven't heard anything in months.

Every day, is as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool
My heart.
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

-"Reflection" by Christina Aguilera, from Disney's Mulan

There's heat lightning outside my window tonight.

I love watching the light bounce off the clouds like that.  It's like 5 second intervals of a full moon.

For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.
-Van Gogh

I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
- Van Gogh


I wish they would only take me as I am.
-Van Gogh

I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
- Kerouac

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
- Poe

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
-Wilde

Only the shallow know themselves.
- Wilde

the moon's an arrant thief,
And her pale fire she snatches from the sun;
- Shakespeare

   And my pirate obsession continues.

Listened to The Pyrates Royale the entire way in to work today.  Realized I can finally start one of the novels I've been planning since I was still in college.  Am currently accepting applications for anyone interested in being Queen of Pirates.  Be warned, I'm picky, shallow, and demand you know the difference between port and starboard.

Also, I was in a discussion on what exactly Elizabeth did for those ten years Will was gone.  People were arguing that she probably just went back to Port Royale and had her baby and did girlie mommy things and it was character assasination.

My argument is this: she had the choice of going back to Port Royale as a single pregnant woman with no family to speak of (which, considering her previous station would have been fucking UNHEARD of) OR she could have kept on being QUEEN OF THE FUCKING PIRATES.

Gee, that's a hard fucking choice, and Elizabeth was not a stupid woman.

So, the girl probably took her little bastard out to sea with her and she and Jack taught him all sorts of cool pirate things (because you know Jack ended up getting in trouble when he went looking for the Fountain of Youth and had to call Elizabeth in to save his ass.  I also like to believe Jack met back up with Anamaria because he needed a real boat and the two of the had awesome sexytimes together) and then when Will came back they met up and he was freed from the Dutchman and they were the most awesome pirate family EVER!

...if Elizabeth was King of the Pirates, does that make Will the queen?

And would have to wear a tiara when he came ashore?


...I'd let you be my queen.

And you'd only have to wear the tiara once so I could take pictures.

It's less than she can offer, and I wish it meant so much more.

So now I'm wondering if you've considered how useful SHE'D be in a sword fight.

I'm not saying she wouldn't have your back, I'm just wondering if she'd know which end of the sword to hold.

But proof positive that the universe just loves to prove me wrong.

So, I'm pretty sure I'd trade being smart for being pretty any day of the week.

I hate to admit it, but it's true.  All my brains get me is ranting in a blog read by three...maybe four people.  Pretty gets you a modeling contract, gets you recognized, gets you somewhere.  I've got nothing.  I don't even have ambition anymore, because let's face it, how am I going to win in a world where a 17 year old girl is fucking gang raped but no one is prosecuting the case, but we have to FIGHT TO GET PARIS HILTON IN A PRISON CELL FOR THREE DAYS?

So yeah, I'd rather be too stupid to see the problem in that situation, but pretty enough to land a modeling contract.

Why is today sucking so hard?  There's no reason I should be this close to crying.

And you know who was awesome?  Mr. Rogers.

for the still not entirely existant band (abstractfuries, let me know how that "learning to play bass" thing is going.  When I finally move to NYC or Jersey you'll need to have that skill ready.)

"Nice Guys Finish Last, Nice Girls Only Finish When You Tell Them To"
"Shock Me, Shock Me, Shock Me with that Deviant Behavior"
"Yes, I'll Kiss Girls, No, I Won't Kiss You (Move Out of Your Parent's Basement Already)"
"Dangers Untold, Hardships Unnumbered"