Why isn't 'Batgirl' a valid career choice?

So says the great Bree:

Oh, the internetz-- a continual source of entertainment. But babies, as much as we want you to be entertained, we also want to prevent your brain from turning to mush. (ITS NOT TOO LATE)

So me and the word-nerds are here to help. As a regular feature we'll bring you: BUILDING VOCAB w/ Breesays & Buzznet's finest! S'right, we're gonna make learning fun and relevant. Flame wars will never be the same! Comments will blossom! You'll be able to impress Wentz with your new expanded vocab!

And now for our premiere installment...




Word: immutable
How to say it out loud: ih-MYOO-tuh-bul
Meaning: not capable of or susceptible to change

While fans hoped and prayed Panic at the Disco's sound was immutable, they were proven wrong by the sophomore effort "Pretty. Odd."

Now you try!

So, back in my rock climbing days, I learned the beauty of Sobe Beverages.  Yes, Sobe.  Ah, how I love thee...and continue to love thee well past my rock climbing and Judo days.

I've been on their mailing list forever and I'm one of their Very Important Lizards, or whatever.  I hadn't really thought about it much until I got home tonight to find a package for me from Sobe.  I hadn't ordered anything and I was immediately confused.

Turns out, I won shirts.  Without meaning to.



So neatly rolled up in a box!  How cool!



This was very thick.  I was worried for a moment.  What treasures were contained within?!

Turns out I got two of each shirt, one extra large and one large.



Detail of the blue and white one.



Detail on the red "Energy" shirt.



Detail on the green shirt.  This one looks much better in person and I'm wearing the large version of it right now!

So...hooray for me!  I have shirts!

This whole journal was inspired by a comment by rockinponda on this blog from awhile back. 

Don't you sometimes hear a song and think "Wow, I have a great video concept for this?"  Or see a video and think "I could have done that better?"

Anyone?  Hello?  Bueller?  Bueller?

Okay, so maybe I'm just a freak.  But sometimes I'll get video concepts and wish there was some way I could force my artistic views on the world.  Violently, if need be.

These are some of those concepts that will never really be:

House Of Wolves by My Chemical Romance (from "The Black Parade")

Like I mentioned in my tap dancing blog, I love the sort of big-band swing feel of this song.  What I would love to see done would be a sort of Swing Era gothic retelling of "Little Red Riding Hood." 

Set in and around a classic looking mansion, the video opens with a girl in a red coat getting out of a classic car and smiling at the driver, then heading towards the front door.  Suddenly, there's a howl and the music cues up.  The girl takes off running wildly, obviously being pursued by something not human.

The chase is inter-cut with scenes of the band, in period costuming, performing for what at first looks to be an empty ballroom...but is later filled with spectral dancers.  Also required: close ups of Ray Toro's hands as he plays the solo in that song.  Why?  Because...it's Ray Toro's hands during a fucking sweet solo.  Duh.


A visual for you to ponder...but please insert the new hotass Mikey Way and Bob Bryar's hippie hair!

Why it won't happen: I doubt that House of Wolves will be released as the final single from TPB (at one point it was announced that "Mama" and another song were planning to be released as singles...not sure if that's still true).  Also, the budget for the video would be outlandish...especially for the quality CGI.  Plus, I'm willing to bet Gerard Way would come up with something better.

Sleep by My Chemical Romance (from "The Black Parade")

One of my ultimate fangirl-gasms: My Chemical Romance teams up with Neil Gaiman to do a "Sandman" themed video.

Why?  Because Gerard Way is Dream.

 
 
He's also a Gaiman fanboy...which is utterly adorable.  And explains a lot of his devotion to writing well rounded characters...especially females. 

(As a side note: I still want to know which clan Gerard Way liked playing best in Vampire: The Masquerade.)

Why it won't happen: Neil Gaiman getting in on something like this would be too good to be true.  Gerard Way would faint upon being told he was working with him.  I want it badly, therefor it can't ever happen.  EVER.

Bang the Doldrums by Fall Out Boy (From "Infinity On High")

PIRATES!

No, really.  Pirates.  After all, Pete Wentz said the following in a Q and A on falloutboyrock.com:

we kind of wanted to put it in the pirates 3. all we could think about was pirates hwne we were writing it. unfortunately "happily ever after below the waist" doesnt vibe well with the whole kids movie thing.

Pete Wentz: still too cool for the shift key.

But I wanted to see a pirate video happen.  Why?  Because not only would it fit the song perfectly, but let's face it, Pete Wentz and Jack Sparrow BOTH rock the guyliner:

 

But Patrick gets the hat.  Obviously:





Why it won't happen: I doubt Fall Out Boy has plans to release another single from Infinity On High.  The Pirates thing is kind of over since the last movie came out last summer.  Another expensive video since they'd need boats, and product placement on pirate ships is HARD, let me tell you.

This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race by Fall Out Boy (from "Infinity On High")

I know they already did a video for this song, but honestly I would have loved to have seen them play up the "Arms Race" bit a little more.  My idea for this featured the guys literally as arms dealers, with cameos by other Decaydance/Fueled by Ramen bands as their clients.  The entire thing ends in a double cross massacre with someone else walking off with all the money...either Panic at the Disco or Gym Class Heroes preferably.

Also for some reason I decided the video should feature Andy Hurley on a motorcycle.  I have issues.

Why it won't happen: They already did a video for this song. 

The City is at War by Cobra Starship (from "Viva La Cobra")

Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE the video for this song.  THEY HAVE A PIE MAFIA!  I love it!  The only thing that disturbs me is that Pete Wentz in that video looks shockingly like a younger version of my father, back when he was a cop, and that's  a HUGE amount of DO NOT WANT right there.

But, with Cobra's love of 80's pop culture and generally crazy shit, I wanted a video based on The Warriors.

Okay, part of this is because I wanted the following:

-The Cobra guys mostly shirtless (I'm objectifying them and it feels soooooooo good!)
-Pete Wentz dressed as a Baseball Fury
-A soundbite of somebody tauntingly going "Cobraaaa Staaaaaarship...come out and plaaaaaaaa-aaay!"




Why it won't happen: They already did a fucking AMAZING video for this song.  WITH A PIE MAFIA!  Man, even cult classic films can't touch that.  PIE.  MAFIA.

Ever had a video you wanted to make?  Wish you could have made?  Lemme know in the comments.  You win nothing in return...but I'd be interested in hearing!

whore  

I have to thank Crash13 for linking me to a blog that made me extremely angry.

Yes, you read that right.

What follows here is a rebuttal to one entry on a blog entitled "Truth for Men," specifically an entry dissecting the lyrics to Madonna's hit song "Material Girl."  This rebuttal will not feature my normal level of vitriol and obscenity (in other words, I'm watching my language here, folks).  You might wonder why.  Simple, because the author of this blog seems to believe that feminists are all angry hairy-legged women who can't get a date on a Saturday night, and take it out on men instead.  Or that they just want to be men and haven't yet had someone show them the true beauty of being a woman.  I'm not sure which.

So, if the author is interested, I would like to offer up some actual truth for him.  Or as Stephen Colbert would put it: a big scoop of truthiness.

The blogger insists that Material Girl is an all emcompassing argument.  That it and songs like it are the "truth," that women simply want money and status in a man, that we will take a rich man who treats us badly over a less financially secure man who treats us well.

I am offended for several reasons.  The first of which is that the blogger speaks for ALL women, regardless of their individual personalities, backgrounds, and ambitions.  The second is that he selected that particular Madonna song, since her catalogue is much wider.  A third reason, but hardly the final one, is that this is being regarded by this blogger as "truth."

I will not try to argue that there are not women who are "golddiggers" as it's put in the tags for the blog.  I have witnessed it in women in the past, and I'm not exactly overjoyed at the way they treat relationships.  Not just because it is hurting the man they are in a relationship with (which, to be honest, if he knows he's being used he could break up with her.  To be fair) but also because it means that woman seems to have no sense of a need to be able to support herself, that she believes her most useful skill is conning men into buying her things.  I think that woman is selling herself short.  She might disagree, and I'm sure many of them would.  But that's me speaking from what my idea of female empowerment is. 

But not all women are like that, honestly.  The truth of the matter is that you cannot over generalize like that.  Women have and want different things.  Just like men.  Amazingly, men and women are a like in many many ways.  Just like not all men are staunch anti-feminists who seem to have a warped view of women, not all women are money grubbing manipulators.  In fact, from my experiences, those two groups have one thing in common: they are a minority.

Do I want a man with money and ambition?  Well, I want a man I don't have to support myself.  I want a man who has aspirations in life of doing something that will make him happy and will allow a place for me to be happy with him.  I don't feel like a man has to be the one supporting a woman in the relationship (in the latter parts of my parent's marriage my mother was the one who was more financially secure, she had the bigger income).  But I do feel like neither partner should "drop the ball" when it comes to income.  Both of you are in this together, you have to make a decision on where you stand financially and stick to it.  If it means he supports her, she supports him, or ideally they support each other (this goes for EVERYTHING, not just monetary matters), then so be it.  Know what you're getting into.  Know where you start or else you might end too soon.

As for selecting "Material Girl?"  That was a very purposeful song selection, I'm sure.  That song was released in 1985, early in Madonna's career.  And you imply that "material girl" and "material world" are synonomous. 

In the 1980's?  It WAS a material world.  I'm hoping the phrase "yuppie greed" rings a few bells.  Did men romance women with items?  Yeah, sure, they still do it today.  Did some women respond?  Yep.  Also, consider Madonna's later comments on the song:


So, when the performer basically disowns the song later in her career, what does that tell you?  Times have changed.

Also, you choose that specific song from Madonna.  What about songs like "Express Yourself" which send the direct OPPOSITE message?

You don't need diamond rings
Or eighteen karat gold
Fancy cars that go very fast
You know they never last, no, no
What you need is a big strong hand
To lift you to your higher ground
Make you feel like a queen on a throne
Make him love you till you can't come down

Seems to me the message here is that things are nice, but aren't all emcompassing.  In fact, the chorus:

Don't go for second best baby
Put your love to the test
You know, you know, you've got to
Make him express how he feels
And maybe then you'll know your love is real

argues that you shouldn't just date someone because he's rich.  If he doesn't respect you, he's not worth your time. "Don't go for second best."  Don't settle.  Flashy things do not a fantastic romance make.

I should add that "Express Yourself" was released in 1989 on the "Like A Prayer" album.  Four years AFTER Material Girl and as the world was heading into the culture shift of the 1990's.

And the choice of artists is interesting as Madonna, while still releasing albums and performing, is hardly the voice of today's young woman.  What about artists such as Destiny's Child who put out songs such as "Independent Women: Part 1?"

The shoes on my feet
I've bought it
The clothes I'm wearing
I've bought it
The rock I'm rockin'
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you're wearin'
I'll buy it
The house I live in
I've bought it
The car I'm driving
I've bought it
I depend on me
(I depend on me)

All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me

Or Pink, who released the single "Most Girls?"

But I'm not every girl
and I don't need that world
to validate me

Cuz shorty got a job,
shorty got a car,
shorty can pay her own rent
Don't wanna dance if it's not in my heart!!

Most girls want a man with the bling-bling
Got my own thing got the ching-ching
I just want real love
Most girls want a man with the mean green
Don't wanna dance if he can't be
everything that I dream of
a man that understands real love

Or Imani Coppola's single "Legend of a Cowgirl?"

Pack my bags and mount my horse
I'm gonna ride on into the next town
Spend all my money on absolutely nothing
Need no man to pay for anything
Ain't got no shame, nobody knows my name
I'm gonna ride on into the next town
Pecos Bill, couldn't hang for long
A female legend with a song

My point is, you can find as many song lyrics as you want about women wanting money, because I can find just as many about women being independent.  Some from the same artists who you claim speak the "truth" for women.  So I wonder what the real "truth" is?  Maybe, sir, you don't know the truth.

The truth is, feminism, real feminism, isn't about women being better than men, or scamming men, or whatever sort of flat out lies society perpetuates.  Lies, might I add, coming from both men and from women who rail against feminism as well as those who have taken it beyond equality and into female supremacy.

Feminism is believing that men and women should receive equal pay for equal work.
Feminism is believing that both men and women's health issues should be covered by company leave plans.
Feminism is believing that emotions are neither male or female, but all encompassing of humanity.  Meaning that it shouldn't be considered "unfeminine" to be angry or aggressive and that men shouldn't be ridiculed for showing sensitivity.

As a side note, I'd like to know who decided that being gay automatically makes a man less masculine.  But that's a rant for another time.  I promise.

The truth is simple.  We are humans.  Male, female, transgendered, what-have-you.  We deserve equality.  And anything claiming otherwise, my friend, is an outright lie.

To end with another set of Madonna lyrics, from "What It Feels Like For a Girl"

Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl

NERD Stain reunion concert!



Friday, January 25th, 2008 @ Chaotic Zen (if you don't know where it is, then you're not invited :P)

$10 cover charge, open bar, free pizza.

Pics from the show to possibly follow.

(In other words, I'm spending tonight getting drunk and playing "Rock Band" with friends.  Possible pictures and/or video to follow.  Maybe even me drunkenly trying to perform Metallica's "One."  I even get to dress the lead singer however I want now!  So...updated group pic in the future?  Possibly!)

ANNOUNCEMENT: THIS BLOG IS APPARENTLY TAMORA PIERCE APPROVED.  :D

Tamora said "You go, Girl," in response to this rant.  I think that's the only real approval I need.

Note: If you are a fan of Stephanie Meyer's "SPARKLY VAMPIRES OMG!" series of books, stop reading.  NOW.  I will have nothing positive to say about any of it.  I will be ripping your favorite series of books apart in my own blog and telling you why it hurts me to see so many girls eating this shit up like some kind of sugar coated orgasm drug.  If you are offended after I have given you this disclaimer?  It's your own fault.

EDIT: This is a rant.  It is not supposed to be entirely rational.  And I did warn you what I say here is angry.

I wanted to read Twilight.  Honestly, I did.  I saw it in a bookstore and thought "Hey, this looks good."  And smartly, instead of spending the money on it, I decided instead to check it out of the library.

I'm GLAD I didn't give that woman another cent for her disgusting series.

Wendy covered a lot of my problems in this journal entry, and I've ranted about the series before, but I'm angry, I need a rant, and today seems like the day for it.

Girls?  Ladies?  Women.  WHY DO YOU IDOLIZE EDWARD CULLEN?  Will someone PLEASE explain it to me?  If you want eternal love with lots of brooding and woe is me, I have another suggestion for you:



Because at least when HE'S a total controlling asshole towards you it's literally because HE HAS NO SOUL.  He doesn't try to cover it up with "I love you!  I love you!"

If he locks you in his house, if he tells you who you can and can't be friends with, if he disobeys your wishes "for your own good" when it's something as silly as not wanting to go to your own prom, if he treats you like property?  HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU.  This is not love, IT IS EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  No matter what he might call it, no matter what he might convince you of, it is not good for you.  It is good for him, it is a power trip, it is him feeling in control of you maybe because he knows he can't control himself.  Edward can't totally control his hunger for Bella so instead he controls her as much as possible.  And not even just after the mess with the other vampires coming after her, even before that.

And yet I see otherwise rational and extremely intelligent teenage girls talking about how WONDERFUL he is as a boyfriend.  And it hurts me.  I know, it's stupid, it's not my business, but ladies it HURTS ME INSIDE.  I know that it is possible for someone who is strong, is intelligent, is worth more than a guy who's going to treat them like shit to be broken down, all because she believes in true love.  I have seen it happen to people I love and care about...I have seen it happen to myself.  And I don't want to see it continue in part because of a sparkly vampire who treats his girlfriend like utter SHIT.

Abuse is not romantic.  Even if the guy doing it looks like this, but with fangs:


Trust me. There are better books/shows/movies/comics about vampires out there.  Please look into them. 

EDIT 2: ELECTRIC BUGALOO: I am not saying that liking Twilight will make you a victim of abuse.  I am saying that excusing abusive behavior in a fictional character just because he's a "total hottie vampire" speaks volumes about the opinion we as a society have about abusive relationships.  It's okay because he's attractive, and because he REALLY REALLY loves her.  Except that it's not.  Excusing it fictionally makes me worry that some day these same women will excuse it in real life.  Emotional abuse is hard to pin down, just because he never hit you doesn't mean he never hurt you.  But it's okay, right?  Because he said "I love you" when it was all said and done.

EDIT 3: TALKING TO A BRICK WALL: Please read MiseryxChord's comment to this post.  She pretty much sums up the point I was trying to make. 

Also, if you're not into literary criticism or reading something fictional in order to explore the psychological aspects of it...such as what a book says about the opinions and attitudes of the author and the prevailing attitudes at a point in history?  I suggest you avoid these majors in college:
-fiction writing
-literature
-psychology
-sociology

NO.

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

This is an absolute abomination and the fact that these people can claim they are doing "God's work" in this situation makes me violently ill.  To put your own disgusting and bigoted agenda above the fact that a human life has been cut short, that he leaves behind friends, loved ones and a young daughter who will grow up never knowing her father is NOT God's work.  Do these people truly believe the entity that gave us life, that gave us a beautiful world to live in, that has given many people so much strength and the feeling of being loved could really hate someone that much?

This is not a rant about Christians in general, so if you are going to comment bashing the faith as a whole, please stop yourself.  The Christian faith is something that has given many people hope and strength that they may not have had before, and that is beautiful.  Many other faiths have done the same thing.  Faith, belief, these are NOT the problems here.  Here the problem is fanatical devotion to YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN AGENDAS to the point that you would claim that God wants you to picket outside the funeral of a young man who, for all you know, loved God as much as any of you.  I don't know about Heath Ledger's religious beliefs, and I'm comfortable with that.  But he had a daughter that he loved, a career he handled very well, and a smile that brought a great deal of joy to people.  And for someone to belittle that just because they themselves are a bigot and would have the audacity to project that onto their God is not just disgusting.

It is a Sin.

I do not believe in the same concept of God as the people who go to church every Sunday, as the people who attend Temple every week, as the people who fast and pray.  But I do believe that God, or whatever you choose to call God, is above all LOVE.  And Phelps and his followers do not preach God's word.  They preach hatred and terror.  They are organizing a march meant to terrorize those people who would mourn Ledger INCLUDING HIS DAUGHTER.  The man's family and loved ones are going through enough without people outside of his funeral marching around proclaiming him a sinner.

Heath Ledger starred in a film about love.  A film about acceptance and hiding and the shame that people are made to feel because they are told that who they love is WRONG.  Heath Ledger came closer to preaching what I believe is God's TRUE message than Phelps and his people EVER WILL.

I don't pray lightly, but Phelps?  I will pray to cancel out EVERY BIT OF VILE HATRED YOU AND YOUR FOLLOWERS WILL SPEW.  I will pray that Ledger is remembered as a father, as a human being, as a fantastic actor who had a bright career ahead of him.  My prayers may not be worth anything to the false idol of HATRED you worship, but I would like to believe that the true power of love and life and light in this universe will be listening.

Three.

This is:

1. the number of weddings I am scheduled to take part in this year
2. the number of months in which these weddings take place
3. as of September, the number of years I will have been split from my fiance

Three.  3.  Tres.  Tre.  Sun.  Set.  Drnaa.

If you can guess the language that last one is in?  You win a prize.  Not a good one.  But a prize.

Three different weddings, one each in August, September and October.  Three very different couples and three very different philosophies on marriage.  Thus do I declare 2008 "The Year of the Bouquet."

And such a year should be documented, right?

To be honest, with as much of an atypical girl as I can be, weddings amaze me.  The planning and the festivities and...okay, yeah...the dresses.  I'm not really the girl who's had her wedding gown picked out since pre-school, but I am the sort of girl who understands the desire some other women have to make sure on their special day they are treated like a princess. 

Okay, actually in the case of one of these weddings?  Like a pirate princess.  Queen of the Pirates?  I'm not totally sure.  But we'll get to that later!

So for me, to watch two close friends and a member of my family plan their weddings...or really not plan the wedding...is an experience for me.  Seeing them approach everything from their own point of view and with their own unique personalities is both awesome and in at least one case VERY VERY FRIGHTENING.  Do I think we'll have a bridezilla in at least one instance?  I won't say "yes" or  "no," but I will verify that I'm buying a tranq gun for this fall...along with at least two bridesmaid's dresses.  But at least one of those is pre-chosen for me, meaning I don't have to THINK about the dress I'm buying, I just have to fork over the money.

It also means I do my yearly promise of "I'm totally going to get back to 150lbs!" and then drop the ball sometime around May.  It's fun!  You should tag along as I fail spectacularly at South Beach once again.  Though, I do have to admit, a good spinach salad with low fat balsamic and goat cheese is the single best convenience diet food ever.  And who knows, this might finally be the year I rid myself of my fat ass.

So watch out, 2008.  Here comes the bride...smaid.

We all have heroes.  Fictional or real, we all have people we look up to for so many reasons.  For their actions, for their words, for their music, for all of the above.  And we as human beings have this tendency to put our heroes on pedestals, to believe they can do no wrong, or that if they do wrong there is a purely good intentioned explanation.

The problem comes when we expect this of human beings.  Because they are human.  And human nature is not a pretty thing.

I am writing this in reference to the reactions to the sentencing of the now-former Escape the Fate lead singer Ronnie Radke.  Yesterday, Bree reported he had been sentenced to 5 years probation, along with the stipulation of rehab and fines.




There were many reactions, some ranging from "Only 5 years when a man was murdered?" to "Oh, Ronnie, how could you screw yourself up like this?"  And then there were the extreme reactions: that he shouldn't have been sentenced like that because it split up the band...and that he in fact hadn't DONE anything.

I'm not going to pass judgment on anyone here, that's NOT what I do.  But I am going to say to those people that you have to learn a hard truth: when your heroes are human, they are going to act according to human nature.  It's not pure in either it's motivations or intentions.

I had to learn this same lesson the hard way, to a lesser degree.  Back when I was still heavy into wrestling (which I am NOT getting sucked back into, regardless of the fact that I sat through RAW last night just to see Jeff Hardy) I was a huge fan of Amy "Lita" Dumas, as you may or may not know.  She was to me an alternative to the company's other women, she was a tomboy, she hung out with the Hardyz (yes, spelled with a "z") as just one of the guys, and her move set was more daredevil than what had been seen in recent years.


It is embarrassing how long I spent looking for a shirt like that.

And then, in 2005, her image was shattered.  It was revealed through Matt Hardy's official website that Amy, who had been involved with Matt for several years, had cheated on Hardy with a good friend of his, Adam "Edge" Copeland...who was married at the time.

This presented an issue.  Someone I considered a personal heroine had done something so blatantly horrible, on multiple occasions, to someone she claimed to be a friend and a lover.  She confessed to having cheated, but did not offer any reasons or further explanation (though Matt's brother Jeff said, quite diplomatically "Matt can be...difficult...to live with.")  It was difficult to reconcile the image I had in my head with the image I was now being shown.  I had to decide how I felt.


Matt, Amy and Jeff during better times

How I felt:

She did a terrible thing, a thing she KNEW was wrong.  She got caught.  She took responsibility for her actions and tried to make things right.  She paid a price personally and professionally for her actions (her character was turned into a promiscuous, power hungry coward as opposed to her previous "won't back down from any fight" tomboy character).  She in fact LEFT wrestling for a period of time in part due to the mess the situation had created for her (she also wanted to concentrate on working with her band, the Luchagores).


She's wearing solid black here.  That's how you know she's bad now.

I still hold her in high esteem for the good things she did.  But yeah, she was flawed.  She's human.

Now, what she did is very VERY little compared to what Radke did.  No one died because of her actions.  But the price she paid has also been much less than what Ronnie is paying.

So, for those of you who are still fans of Ronnie?  I suggest you take some time to consider all of this.  You can still be a fan of his music, and remember how he made you feel.  But at the same time you HAVE to recognize that what he did was wrong, morally as well as legally.  He has confessed, he is paying his price (both legally and professionally) and hopefully he will learn something from his EXTREMELY lenient sentence.  Hopefully he will come out of this with an appreciation of how his actions affect others...and maybe a better appreciation for human life, both his own and the lives of others.

As for everyone else?  Choose your heroes wisely.

(for those of you who are going to yell "BUT YOU DEFEND AMY ALL THE TIME WHEN PEOPLE CALL HER A SLUT!" I will argue: sleeping with one man behind your boyfriend's back doesn't make you a slut.  It makes you unfaithful.  Now, if she'd been having sex with multiple partners, whether it was behind Matt's back or not, to the point of ridiculous promiscuity and obviously showing no respect for herself?  THEN she'd be a slut.)

There are some fans who talk about how MCR saved their lives.  I'm not one of them, but at the same time I understand how music can do that.  And since that was the goal Gerard Way had in mind when he started the band, I think he's very proud to hear from people that his band and their music helped them overcome a hard time in their life, convinced them to get help, or just made them feel like it was okay to be fucked up.

And then there are people who take it one step further.  There are people who were inspired by MCR's music to save the lives of others.  Like the girls at Give A Cheer.

I'm posting about this now because, in about two weeks, they'll be running a charity auction.  The auction item is a signed Black Parade era print (there's more detail shots on the blog post).


It's signed by both of the Way Brothers, as well as Bob and Ray.  They do explain why Frank's signature is not on, as well.

What really amazed me about this is that they do not have a set charity in mind.  The auction winner has the right to choose the charity to be donated to...though Give A Cheer reserves the right to change the charity should they decide the winner's charity does NOT promote the ideas and values that My Chemical Romance does (which, consider why they set this up in the first place.  It makes sense).

I'll be posting a link to the actual auction when it happens.  And be aware, these girls are in Austrialia, so any non-Aussies will have to pay extra for shipping.  But look at it this way, it's not just winning an auction.  It's donating to charity and getting a signed print of an amazing picture along with the deal.  Even if you don't intend on bidding, you can help spread the word as well!

And hey, get this now since The Black Parade is, sadly, dead.

*note: I am not affiliated with Give A Cheer, so if you're going to leave praise for the project do so at their site.  I'm pretty sure these girls don't even know about my blog, so if you want to make sure they get a message, put it where I know they'll see it!

It's amazing how many of my recent stories begin with "So, my friend Gwen sends me a text message."

So, my friend Gwen sends me a text message on Thursday asking if I want to go see Sweeny Todd with her and another friend of ours, Laurie, on Friday.  I responded saying either that or Cloverfield would be awesome.  We figured we'd meet in a coffee shop in Oakland after we all got off of work and figure it out from there.

I ended up getting there early, which was a little weird for me.  So I headed to the upstairs of Kiva Han with a coffee, a carrotcake muffin, and my cell phone.  And I claimed the "hipster couch."  Which may have been a hipster couch, but was DAMN comfy.

Gwen and I were texting back and forth and when I bragged about my conquest of the couch, she accused me of hipster-dom.  For those of you following my twitter, this is when I posted the comment about "hipster with a comfy ass."

I then quickly got bored.  But I had the solution to all of life's problems.  A camera phone:



Look!  A chair!  And Christmas lights!



This is an artsy picture of my boot.  There's a full color limited edition print, but only abstractfuries has a copy of that one.

Eventually we converaged on the couch and decided to go grab dinner.  There was sushi, which is always good, and we were still planning a movie.

And then I brought up the pin-up style shoot I'm doing this spring with Fourth Photography.

Laurie, apparently, has done pin-up modeling in the past.  And the look of sheer glee that came over her face when she found out I was doing this is...well, imagine a hardcore, old school, elitist My Chem fan being told that they're going back to their old sound and Gerard has disowned any fans that only got into them because of The Black Parade.  Multiply that by a millionfold.

So, we didn't so much end up at the movies.

We ended up at The Outer Skin. *this link and the others below it contain adult content*

There was discussion of costumes and boots...and the offer of having an actual costume mistress during the shoot (!).  Then there was the discussion of poses and props.  Like whips.  And riding crops. 

Also there was a moment as we paused looking at the inflatable bondage chair.

We adjourned to a Barnes and Noble where we spent roughly an hour looking over books of models in various poses...some very good and some very not so good.  And several of them covered in milk.  Then, to Macy's.

Ah, Macy's.

Apparently they thought we were there to cause problems, because they immediately called a code 50.  I don't know what a code 50 is, but apparently it pertains to three twenty something girls all looking vaguely punked out (Gwen had in her nose and lip ring, but dresses as preppy as possible otherwise...which is awesome...Laurie is always sort of punk/hipstered out and me...I'm in a hoodie and jeans.  What else is new?).  There was a disappointing romp through the shoe department and then an even more disappointing moment at the Clinique counter while looking for bright red lipstick. 

Upon returning to Laurie's car she proceeded to open her glove compartment and hand me a pair of absolutely gorgeous handcuffs.  Leather, with spikes and roses and lined with red fur.

They were the most comfortable handcuffs ever.  She almost didn't get them back.

Then we got cheesecake.  And Gwen made a paper crane with a substance abuse problem:




That crane likes sugar way too much :(  It's never going to get to sleep.

Long story short?  Great night.  Short story long?  Anything written by Dickens.

It seems sometimes that all human beings are good at is destroying.  Destroying our planet, destroying each other and especially destroying ourselves.  We do it for the sake of greed, for jealousy, for any multitude of horrible reasons.

And sometimes, we help destroy another human being for entertainment's sake.

The world has watched as cameras focused on one shining example of this in the past few years.  That example being the one and only Ms. Britney Spears.




It wasn't as if Britney's life has been a blueprint for sanity.  A child star, she went on to become America's pop princess due more to catchy hooks and jailbait sex appeal than to actual talent.  But as she grew older, the shine faded from the sparkling diamond and Britney began a string of gossip rag worthy adventures: 24 hour Las Vegas marriages, a union with Kevin "K-Fed" Federline, the birth of two children, the divorce from Federline, the custody battle and inbetween all of it a series of increasingly worrying nervous breakdowns.

So yeah, Britney's been on the fast track to OD'ing by 30 for years.  But it's not like we, and I do mean "we" I'm not exempt here, have been helping her along.

But now it's come to a point where it's not funny anymore.  It's not amusing.  It has come to the point where Britney's nervous breakdowns/cries for media attention have placed her own children in danger.  And regardless of who they were born to they are still innocent human beings.

I'm not saying pity Britney.  You can or you can not, your choice.  I can't deny that these antics get her more attention than her last CD did, so there is something to the theory that she acts out for publicity.  I also can't deny that there has been increasing evidence lately that she is NOT mentally well.  Either way, pointing a camera at her is not going to discourage this behavior.  It's either giving her what she wants, or giving her something she doesn't need.

But we continue.  Hell, I'm writing this post, aren't I?  But now major news agencies such as CNN are paying more attention to Britney than to...well..news (I discovered Britney had lost custody of her children because it was splashed across CNN's main page as a "breaking news headline.").  And now the Associated Press is going out of their way to invade every aspect of this woman's life.

And they've already written her obituary.

When Ms. Spears does pass away before her time, because at this point it's almost certain she will, I suppose journalists will have to find someone new to build up and destroy.  If you keep picking at the wound it might never heal...and at the very least it will scar.

This is a sick woman.  Let her get help.

Us Christian girls have got to learn to protect ourselves. I mean, sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary.

-Hilary Faye, Saved!

Some of you may be virgins.

Others of you?  Might not be virgins. 

But here's the deal.  You're either a virgin, or you're not.  If you're unsure of whether you're a virgin or not, either you're a moron or your partner was SHIT in bed.




So when I saw a bulletin circulating talking about "I'm X% virgin" I knew it was a bad idea to click.  I KNEW IT.  But I did it anyway.  Possibly because I hate my life and wish for the cold embrace of death to come take me quickly.  Hooray.

I wasn't surprised to see that the 100 question survey contained a number of things that really had fuck all to do with sex.  Smoking, drinking, dressing preppy, GETTING AN X-RAY?  None of these are directly related to cherry popping adventures.  And I really hope everyone who got that message realized that.

But as I went down the list, things got more and more offensive to me.

"Kissing someone of the same sex" was listed as if it were a dirty act.  Here's a surprise, people.  THERE ARE GAY AND BISEXUAL PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD!  YOU MAY HAVE TOUCHED ONE!  People even have actual, bonofied SEX with people of the same sex. 

These people are not virgins.  Because of the sex, not because of the sex or gender identity of their partner.  It's about the fucking, not who you fuck.

Then "been pregnant" came up on the list.  Here's a hint: if you're pregnant?  You're not a virgin.  And no, you really can't have your physical virginity restored by praying REALLY REALLY hard. 

"Been called a whore" was a little further down.  Because obviously if you're called a whore you deserve it.  Because at some point you've probably had impure thoughts about something or someone and guess what?  That makes you a whore.  ESPECIALLY if you're a girl.  Ignore the fact that women are built for enjoying sex (multiple orgasms, and the clitoris is the only part of the human body, male or female, who's sole purpose is for sexual pleasure), it's DIRTY AND WRONG for women to think about sex.  Ew.

And then there's numbers 95 and 100:

95. Raped somebody.
100. Been raped
...

It is my understanding that bulletins like these are meant to be fun.  They are meant to be something stupid and funny you pass around with your friends and then make jokes about.

Joking about raping or being raped by someone?  NOT COOL.

Making rape into a joke like that?  Belittles what it is that people go through.  The emotional and mental after effects of having been completely violated.  And it helps continue the idea that rape is not a big deal, which sets back efforts for stronger sentencing for rapists and sex offenders.  I was already pissed off enough that a scam run during the 2004 presidential election meant to confuse people's political parties and polling places used a petition for stronger sentencing for rapists as part of their ploy.

To be honest, there is only one person I would ever wish rape on in this world.  The man is a criminal, an abuser, a child molester, and he deserves both prison time and to take it up the ass sans-lube his first week in.  This is why I am not in the legal profession.

But no one, male or female, deserves to be raped for how they dressed, for flirting at a party, for getting drunk, for getting high, or any of the other reasons that are usually offered up as an explanation.  There is never a reason for someone to violate another human being like that.  It is a senseless, stupid crime that revolves around power and a thrill.

So please, stop sending this stupid bulletin around.  Come on, there's got to be some better quizzes we can steal from Myspace posts.

So, I haven't really kept it a secret that I've been following and loving Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba's The Umbrella Academy.  Granted, I'm probably pre-disposed to liking it due to my occasionally obvious fangirling of Mr. Way, but I have honestly found myself enjoying his writing for it's own sake.  In some ways it reminds me of Joss Whedon's style of writing, which is NEVER a bad thing in my book.




As I've been reading I've been trying to avoid online fan opinions.  Mostly because what occasionally spoils something I'm very interested in for me is the online fandom.  And that's not just fan authors and artists, that's also just the people who, while discussing the particular work, make utter morons out of themselves.

But last night, after reading TUA #5, I figured I'd leave a message on the Myspace reactions blog, because there was quite literally a panel that made me gasp in shock and stare to be sure what was going on was REALLY going on.

(IN CASE YOU CAN'T TELL, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT!)

That was the panel where Pogo had his brains blown out by White Violin.  The moment was so sudden and the view of the act was so unflinching (if you haven't noticed, I like when comics force you to look at what you don't want to look at.  This is one of the reasons I'm a huge fan of the Battle Royale Manga, it does the same thing and presents the violence in such a way to glorify it...because that's the way it would have been shown to viewers of The Program).  And I wanted to leave my praises for that moment.

Stupidly, STUPIDLY, I read the other comments.

This issue contained character death, the new revelation that The Monocle's monocle is anything but ordinary, the fact that #5 is a killing machine, and more.  So what are people talking about?




A one panel kiss between Rumor and Space Boy.

And the reactions are generally: "OMG!  RUMOR IS A SLUT!  SHE MADE HER BROTHER KISS HER!  AND MADE HIM BE IN LOVE WITH HER SINCE HE WAS 8!!!!!"

Right, so...I hate the internet.

1. We are reading the end of the story.  We have seen very little of #1/Luther/Space Boy's previous interaction with #3/Allison/The Rumor.  What we have seen, to me at least, did imply that Luther had feelings for her beyond just as his sibling...but that's all implied.  We are missing twenty years of these people's lives.  So as far as we know, Rumor was telling the truth and Space has wanted to kiss her since they were 8.
2. We have no proof that Rumor's power even still works.  She hasn't used it yet in the series, and the statement she made was in response to Space's question about "Does your power still work?"  Since there is no physical sign/phenomenon associated with Rumor's powers we can't say that the powers are why she and Space kissed.
3. If Rumor were going to abuse her powers to get whatever she wanted, so far her character has shown that what she wants is not Space and to return to being a hero.  She wants her daughter back.  If she were going to abuse her powers to get whatever she wanted, don't you think she'd have said "I heard a rumor that I have full custody of my daughter again?"  Or even "I heard a rumor that my marriage is still going perfectly?"
4. As for the incest angle: We have no proof that ANY of the kids have the same biological father, and we know they do not share biological mothers.  So Space and Rumor are biologically half-siblings at worst...at best they share no common ancestry.  Also, Space NO LONGER HAS HIS OWN BODY.  Therefor, even if they were to have sex (which we don't even know if they physically CAN) there is no threat of an inbred offspring.
5. Rumor did not make Space "Fall in love with her."  Even if she did use her powers to make him do something he might not have wanted to do?  It was a kiss.  KISS.  That's all she said.  If they continued to embrace after that, it had nothing to do with her rumor.  So, it's possible that RUMOR SAID THAT TO HELP SPACE MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.  He isn't good with people.  He wouldn't have on his own.  And if he had been disgusted by the kiss he would have pulled away afterwards.
   

Of course, I could be wrong.  Rumor could have completely manipulated Space Boy into doing what she wanted because that's how she was raised: as a manipulative liar.  That's her power.  Gerard Way has confirmed in interviews that she was forced to grow up as a liar.  But at the same time, Way has made enough feminist statements in his time that I don't believe he would write a female character as blatantly sexually manipulative.  This is Gerard Way we're talking about, NOT Frank Miller (sorry Miller fans, including you Gee, but the man CANNOT write a well-rounded female character to save his life.  I respect what he's done for comics and how he turned the industry around, and as a piece of noir work Sin City is brilliant...but there's a reason he's called Frank "WHORES WHORES WHORES WHORES" Miller).  Maybe I'm putting too much faith in Gerard, but let's face it, this is not a man who is inclined to shy away from independent, powerful women.




I rest my case.

So, in case you don't know, major comic companies like Marvel and DC...wait, those are the major ones...um...anyway, they've been trying to recapture the American Teen Girl Fanbase from the clutches of Manga.  So many manga titles concentrate on O.C.-like high school drama or magical girl adventures that they will draw more female readers than even Gambit.

Mmmmm...Remmy... 

I'm sorry, where was I?

Oh, right.

So, DC/Vertigo started an imprint called MINX to release titles in the vein of manga, but with American storylines and artwork.  I've read at least one of the titles called "The P.L.A.I.N. Janes" mostly because Pittsburgh artist Jim Rugg did the artwork (I loved his work on Street Angel and was really happy to see at least a few small hometown nods thrown into Janes...mostly Sporty Jane being seen in a #7 Ben Roethlisberger jersey).  It's a good focus, great idea.

So, Marvel decided to do something similar.

Oh, MARVEL.

Our love/hate relationship continues.  You give me X-men.  You give me Joss Whedon blatantly fan-boying Kitty Pryde while working on Astonish X-Men.  But then you give me things like Spellbinders.


Meet your magical girl!  And...some other people.  I think they were important, maybe?

Wow, good plan.  Teen witches!  A lot of people are into teenaged witches these days!


KIDDING!  KIDDING! HE'S NOT REALLY A WITCH!  IT'S A JOKE.

I read this in the past few days and...okay, I confess.  I didn't actually READ the whole thing.  Because I got through parts 1 and 2 and felt my brain dribbling out of my ears.  Look, the main character was actually pretty awesome, but the rest of the characters?  They faded so far into the background I couldn't tell them apart.  They all have unique powers...I couldn't tell you what those powers are...but they DO have them.  The only one that really sticks out to me (other than the main character's SUPER SPESHUL POWERS, of course) is the minor character who can turn things into salamanders.

I can't tell if that's the best or worst power ever.

But yeah, while I liked a lot of things about the main character and the concept (Kim, the protagonist, is often pictured as weilding a chainsaw as part of her sculpting hobby...and when a character is revealed to be a necromancer they are not regarded as negative...and it's not a stereotypical dark/gothy character, either), but the execution was crap.  No, no, it was CRAPTACULAR.  Possibly even CRAPTASTIC.

The artwork was mediocre.  The storyline was boring, confusing, and just flat out bad writing.  I'm not saying this was as bad as the Wolverine-themed manga SNIKT!...but it might be damned close.

Join me later as I attempt to read another of Marvel's plans to take back the 12-16 year old girls: Spiderman Loves Mary Jane.

I pray I survive.

I confess.

In the past I have written a lot about celebrities.  Sometimes shamelessly fangirling, but other times to lure you in with pretty/sexy/cool and then WHAM-POW hit you with a political or social issue (please see the poll I posted today).

But let's face it.  I am HARDLY a credible news source.  I'm not even Fox News Credible (see what I did there).  So if I'm writing about celebrities as opposed to the war in Iraq, it's frivolous and silly but hey, you don't come to me for quality reporting.  For that you'd have to go to, like, the Associated Press or something.




WOW. 

JUST WOW.

Look, there are so many places I can go with this.  Let's just do this in a bullet list:

• Britney Spears is a celebrity.  While she will help you sell papers she is NOT a potential Democratic or Republican candidate for the presidency, potentially possesing nuclear weapons, committing genocide or KENYAN.
• Not everything Britney Spears does is news.  Honestly?  I don't care if she drank coffee at 3AM and then took a shit in someone's backyard.
• I don't want to sound like Chris Crocker, but honestly, just leave her alone, okay?  It's not amusing anymore, it's not funny, it's not a joke.  It is quite literally the media putting the destruction of a human being on display for the world to see and laugh at.  It's not "pretty people have problems too" it's not "she's a person of interest."  She is a mentally unwell woman who needs serious help and having cameras pointed at her is NOT THAT HELP. 

Back off, find some REAL reporting to do or at least find a new celebrity to poke with a sharp stick, okay? 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Amazon has a confession.  When I was but a wee Amazon (wee-er than I am now, if you believe that is possible...I'm VERY short) I danced.  Like REALLY danced.

Like TAP DANCED.


Please note that I was never THIS good.

No, I will not be sharing any of the embarrassing pictures of me in sparkly costumes with you, and please realize the last time I danced was my freshman year of high school, back in 1998, when I stupidly decided to attempt tapping again for the auditions for my school's production of 42nd Street.

I figured "Hey, if I really suck, they'll tell me they want me in the normal tap group."

Sadly, they didn't care if you sucked or not, just that you owned a pair of tap shoes.

I hadn't tapped in roughly...oh...four years...when I got up on stage to perform to Blur's "Song 2."  Trust me, not an easy song to dance to, but still fun.

Anyway, despite resentment from the other girls in the tap line because I couldn't really dance that well (though a few of them did try to walk me through, and I smiled well enough to fake it), almost falling out of my outfit for the "We're in the Money" number, and managing to smack another dancer in the head during a kick line, I did okay.

But I haven't danced since.

Now, however, there are a few songs that make me think "Gee, golly, gosh, maybe I should dig out my old tap shoes!"

And then logic says "DON'T YOU EVEN FUCKING DARE, YOUNG LADY!"

These are those songs:

"Magic Carpet Ride" Philip Steir ft. Steppenwolf: This remix appears on the soundtrack to the film "Go" and is one of my favorites.  I've seen people perform to Magic Carpet Ride before, but never to this hybrid version of the song that mixes in a hip hop feel to sections of it.  I've actually had this in the back of my head since high school, but never really did anything about it.

"There's a Good Reason These Tables are Numbered, Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet" by Panic at the Disco (I respect their decision to remove the ! from their name): COME ON!  This calls for it and even gives you a guide for the costume for the number ("when you're in black slacks with accentuating off-white pinstripes/everything goes according to plan").  If there's any reason I'm a little upset Panic's changed their sound, it is my un-ironic LOVE for this song.

"House of Wolves" by My Chemical Romance: I'm upset that there doesn't seem to be a plan to release this as a single, because the video could be awesome (shut up, I totally don't picture My Chem in period costumes performing for a ghostly group of swing dancers.  Nuh-uh).  I'm even more upset that I barely remember how to shuffle-step correctly well enough to perform something to this song.

And the kicker, the one that's been driving me crazy for two weeks:

"Bubble, Pop, Electric" by Gwen Stefani: I just think this would be amazingly fun.  Cute little costume, dirty song and a few places for rapid tapping means the footwork would be hard but extremely fun.  Luckily my shoes are still back at my mom's house or I might be tempted to annoy my downstairs neighbor as I relearn how to dance for THIS SONG ALONE.

But those are days long gone, dear reader.  Long, long gone, like innocence lost.  *sigh*


Sadly, Deezer did not allow me to add "Bubble Pop Electric" to my playlist

NOTE: THIS IS A JOKE.  TOTAL JOKE.  HA-HA FUNNY JOKE TIME!  IF PEOPLE ARE GOING TO START TAKING EVERYTHING I WRITE HERE SERIOUSLY, I'M GONNA START SPREADING RUMORS ABOUT MYSELF AND CERTAIN ROCK STARS!

Look, I'm here to allay your fears.  Ryan Ross is not in a cult.

I know, I know, from this picture, it looks like a cult:



Strange kneeling position, matching tattoos, heads bowed, sure it COULD be a cult.

But it's not.  Oh no.

Because if you study the other pictures from what appears to be that same evening?  You'll discover Ryan Ross is not in a Tattooed Cult, he's in a Tattooed Coven.



As you can see here, he's wrapped himself in ivy to symbolize Earth and lit candles to symbolize the power of fire.  Obviously this indicates a magical rite, NOT a cult initiation.  It is most likely a form of High Ceremonial Magic.  Possibly a call for inspiration?  No, traditionally that is associated with air.  Perhaps Ryan is invoking the power to smite his enemies...or the enemies of those he loves?



Here we see pictures of Ryan's journal...or his Book of Shadows, to be precise.  Arranged on an altar with a string of pearls, obvioulsy to represent the ocean/water, the book holds all the secrets of Ryan's newly formed coven.  As you can see, the tattoo logo is drawn inside of it, meaning that it has some kind of powerful mystical significance and was likely shown to Ryan in a dream by one of the multitude of gods or goddesses he worships.

So remember, kids.  It's not a cult.  It's a COVEN.  Have you never seen "The Craft?"

*please be aware I mean no insult to actual Wiccans/Neo-Pagans/Witches with this entry.  I post this disclaimer because I'm sure someone's going to get offended.

So, guess what happens when Ashly gets so sick and stuffed up she can hardly taste things?

That's right, she sets up another round of "U HAS A FLAVOR!" polls:

THIS TIME AROUND, I ASK THE GRUELING QUESTIONS:


IF RAY TORO HAD A FLAVOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  

IF PETE WENTZ HAD A FLAVOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

IF GABE SAPORTA HAD A FLAVOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

So, in case you haven't been following the Umbrella Academy Myspace (not that I have it and Gabrielle Ba's friended or anything...STOP JUDGING ME!), before each new issue they've been releasing lobby cards as previews.

And this time around?  You can be totally sure of Gerard Way's involvement.  Why?

Coffee.  Coffee coffee coffee.  Because as it was put in "Life on the Murder Scene" a video of Gerard's day would be simply "Going to get coffee, going to get coffee, going to get coffee."




Check out the other two for this issue and the ones for previous issues (including a fantastically creepy one from #4 featuring a partial shot of White Violin) at the official Myspace.

And while you're at it, maybe we should tell them to bring some love over here to buzznet as well!  Not that anyone here would be interested in Gerard Way's comic or anything.

...look what bulletproofheeb posted!

:D

So, as poxline linked yesterday, it appears Will Smith is a Scientologist.

Will.  William.  Big Willie Style.  STOP.

You have just signed yourself up for a cult that believes we all have aliens living inside of us.



And you should know better, Will.  You're going to worship aliens?  DO YOU KNOW WHAT ALIENS WILL DO TO EARTH GIVEN THE CHANCE?



Seriously. I  understand that Tom Cruise is charismatic and can lure you in with promises of candy or something, but if you don't cut this shit out RIGHT NOW I am going to have to send someone else in to fix you, aren't I?



All joking aside, I really wish we would put this Scientology crap to rest.  I'm not talking about the belief in and of itself.  Look, I'm an equal opportunity spiritualist, and if you need to believe that we are reincarnated from aliens dropped into lava by an evil space overlord to get you through the night, more power to you.

My issue comes from the fact that Scientology is not a faith.  It is not a religion.  It is a business and it is a CULT.  You are charged money to become a member in good standing (while churches may ask for donations you are not going to be turned away from services because you do not contribute).  You are urged not to take medications (and let's face it, some of us NEED our anti-anxiety medications to help us leave the house in the morning).  You are urged to do anything to prevent people from bad mouthing the faith.  Not only is there the famous case of Isaac Hayes leaving South Park because of the Scientology episode (claiming it wasn't right to make fun of religion...disregarding the long list of religions that had been mocked in other South Park episodes), but there is also the fact that Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson and an avid Scientologist, has claimed she will leave the show if an episode mocking Scientology is ever proposed.

Too bad she's too late.  The episode "The Joy of Sect" mocked Scientology via a parody group known as "The Movementarians."

And for Will Smith to claim that Scientology and the Bible are 98% alike?  Honestly, Will, I must have missed the part in the Bible where God THREW THE ALIENS INTO A VOLCANO AND SET UP HOVERING COLLECTORS TO RECAPTURE THEIR SOULS.  Maybe it's just me being pagan and all.  But hey, I might be tempted to convert to Catholicism if Jesus had a lightsaber!

My point is, believing in something and finding strength in it are one thing.  If Tom Cruise wants to believe that praying to aliens will cure his dyslexia, mental disorders and homosexual leanings, fine.  But Tom, keep it to yourself.  Stop evangelising, take off Katie Holmes's house arrest anklet, and leave Will Smith alone.

And Will, think of it this way: do you REALLY want to deal with aliens again?

I've been talking politics with people a lot.  My friend at the office and I talk constantly about that sort of thing, especially now with an upcoming presidential election and the results of the primaries rushing in.  Wendy and I talk about that sort of thing via IM.

So I'm going to talk about them here for a moment.  I'm going to try and remain non-partisan, too.  But I've decided I have to say SOMETHING here, especially after receiving an e-mail from Skeleton Crew that Frank Iero had posted something new on the boards.

I'm not going to copy and paste the whole thing, but this was the part that struck me:

#1 If you're 18 and live in the United States. Educate yourself on the issues at hand and register to vote! You can do this online at  www.rockthevote.com. It's real easy, fill out the form online and print it out to sign and mail. If you're not 18. Find out about the issues and discuss them with your parents and friends. Express your opinion to them and make sure they vote. This is our world and we do have a say.

That got me to thinking about my generation and something that has concerned me for awhile about us.  Political apathy, especially as it pertains to voting.

I'm not talking about voting in every primary, because I know I don't even do that.  But at the same time, I know people who just don't vote at all.  There's a number of reasons, all of which make a certain amount of logical sense.  A few I've heard:

1. None of the candidates stand for what I believe in.  I can't get behind their message.
2. It doesn't matter who I vote for!  In 2000 Gore won the election but lost the presidency!
3. It doesn't matter who I vote for!  Everything's rigged anyway!
4. It's just choosing between one middle aged white guy or another middle aged white guy.
5. They don't speak to me.

#5 is a real problem for me, because it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Candidates don't talk about youth issues because the youth vote is notoriously bad at turning out.  Young people are so disenchanted with the political process that they just DON'T PARTICIPATE...so when you're trying to gather votes why bother with people who aren't going to anyway?  So, they don't address our issues and many of my peers, in turn, don't vote because they don't know where the candidates stand on their issues.

But we can force their hand.  We can force them to change. 

We can VOTE.

I don't care what party you register as.  I don't care who you vote for.  I don't give a damn if you vote for a third party candidate who doesn't stand a realistic chance in our bullshit two party system.  JUST VOTE.  You have the right, you have a voice.  Yes, it's true that the system is screwed up, but this isn't a system you can change without having some part in it.  Change comes from within, and changing the political system means that our generation has to become politically active.

It's so easy, too.  We have access to the internet, meaning that candidate's views are easy to access, information isn't centralized anymore.  There's Youtube if you just want to watch highlights of speeches or debates.  There's the highly rated Daily Show and Colbert Report, both of which are humorous but also offer INTELLIGENT REPORTING.  They're entertainment, but they're also good new sources.

As a country we had to fight for our right for representative government.  And for hundreds of years certain portions of our population were denied the right to vote.  People FOUGHT for their rights to the polls and now we scoff at it because the system is corrupt.

We are the anti-virus.  We can BE the cure.  But we have to do something about it.

So?  Make a change.  Stand for something. VOTE.


       

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it begins
Keep your drink just give me the money
just you and your hand tonight
-Pink "U and Ur Hand"

So, for awhile I avoided leaving my house/apartment.  Because I had a lot of social anxiety.  Eventually I started to get over that and head out into that wide, untamed world.

That's when I remembered, I'm a girl.  And general consensus (not trying to brag here, sorry if it sounds like that) is that I'm a fairly attractive girl.  Which is great and fine and dandy (even if I fucking hate my body, but that's another rant) until I do leave my house.  And I run into people who do like my body.

Now, I don't really mind receiving compliments.  It's just that the boys who usually speak up to me about finding me attractive are...well, here's a small sampling:







I rest my case.  This list also includes:

• people who smell like urine
• people who smell like weed
• people who don't realize "How YOU doin'" was a joke from "Friends," not a serious pick up line
• people who say things like "Oh yeah baby, come to papa" unironically
• people who are possessed by hyenas

The worst part is, these are not just people who understand that a cold shoulder means "I'm not interested."  They seem to be of the opinion that I just don't understand what I want...because how could a silly girl like me ever really know what she wants, right?  After all, he's a man with a big...okay, MODERATELY SIZED...meaty cock, and what do I have?  A VAGINA?  Yeah, good luck using THAT as a puppet!

So lately I have been identifying ways of getting the undesirable males to leave me alone.  My best defense so far has been this philosophy: If you are going to act like a puppy dog that wants to hump my leg, I will treat you like a puppy dog that wants to hump my leg.

In other words:

Male: *approaches with confident swagger* How you doin'?
Female: NO!

(if male continues, it may be necessary to whap him on the nose with a newspaper or dissuade him with a spray bottle).

Normally this works, with the nasty side effect of people calling me a "bitch."  However, I'm at the point where I've just decided to own up to it.  Yes, I won't sleep with you. Yes, that might make me a bitch.  Yes, I would rather be a bitch than sleep with you.

However, this Saturday night my friends and I had to pull out the sort of tactics one normally finds in Cameron Tuttle's Bad Girl's Guides (ignoring the existence of the craptastic TV series based on the really awesome books).  Three of us, all obviously in our mid-twenties, were seated at a table at Pittsburgh's dueling piano bar, Sing Sing.  We'd been there for a few hours and were enjoying ourselves, when a man who had to be in his late 40's to early 50's approached us.

He first proceeded to (drunkenly) tell us he was married, even showing us a wedding ring.  Then, he (drunkenly) told us he didn't know anybody at the bar and had just come over after the Steeler's game.  And he (drunkenly) promised to have no bad intentions for us, he just wanted to make some friends.

Of course.  The drunken guy old enough to be our father, who is constantly insisting he's married, just wants to "make friends" with the group of 20 year olds at a bar.  NOTHING skeevy about that.

He asked my friend if we were having a girl's night out to celebrate a "divorce or something."  She immediately answered "Yes, I just got divorced."  As that went on, myself and the other girl immediately "coupled up."  Then, I pulled out my cell phone as if to check for a text message, and the first friend looked over, concerned.

"Is it the babysitter AGAIN?"
"Um...yeah..."
"I TOLD YOU not to trust a 14 year old with an eight year old!"

*guy begins to look confused*

"She had CPR training."
"Do we have to leave?"
*I nod*

We leave the bar, apologizing to our new "friend."

Creativity counts a lot, in these cases.  But the lesson here is always have an escape plan or be ready to improvise.

This, by the way, is why I don't go out to drink alone.  My father says it would be a learning experience.  I personally think it would be a sexual assault experience.  Which could be a learning experience, but not one I'm too eager to jump on.

So, does anybody remember that poll I posted awhile back about celebrity comics? 

My brain, deciding that it should not work normally but instead in ways that brains were never meant to work, has unfortunately come up with ideas for what some of these imaginary series would be like, if they were actually drawn.

FALL OUT BOY:
This series would actually end up incorporating guys from other bands, as it would be a spin off from the "A Little Less 16 Candles, a Little More 'Touch Me'" video.  Come on, they already did action figures, why can't there be a comic?  Besides, there's so much more to the story than is shown in the short video (though supposedly there's a lot more footage...basically an extended cut of the video is rumored to exist, and I would like to point out this would be a sweet extra to include on a DVD.  Just for the record).  I know a lot of fan authors have explored expanding this universe, but I'd love to see what the actual canon is...were the guys hunting vampires before Pete was turned into one?  What's up with the gangs?  Can we please have more vampire Travis?

PANIC! AT THE DISCO:
This should be done in manga style.  More towards the androgynous style of Tarot Cafe than CLAMP-esque artwork.  It would be a play on the manga cliche of Magical Girls...Magical Circus Boys.  Complete with sparkly transformation sequences and circus-based superpowers.  BRENDON'S TOP HAT WOULD BE MAGICAL.  How would they not be recognized while fighting evil?  THEY'D HAVE EYE MAKE-UP ON.  Because if they don't have eye make-up?  They're a TOTALLY different band.

ASHLEE SIMPSON:
In light of her "Vicky Valentine" persona, Ashlee's short run series would be very trippy and heady, with her being trapped in her own head by "Vicky" while a fake her ran around living her life.  Basically, a lot of the idea is based on the video for "Outta My Head (Ay-ya-ya)."  It could be done in an extremely surreal style, swirled and fucked up like some of the more Delerium-centric issues of Sandman.

GWEN STEFANI:
Another manga-like comic, this time in full CLAMP style.  Gwen, guided by four spirits known as Love, Angel, Music and Baby, is on a quest to find love, live her life, and become a superstar.  Comic misadventures and adorable chibis abound!  And hell, let's give Gwen some sort of jewelry with magical powers, just because...it can grant her a wish a week or something.  I don't totally know. 

Don't blame me, blame my brain.  It has a mind of it's own.

EDIT: Anyone willing to provide artwork for any of these series would be greatly rewarded with...um...love?

In 1999, Britney Spears scored a hit with "(You Drive Me) Crazy ("Stop" remix)."

Well, welcome to 2008, folks.

Breesays reported that Britney's lawyers had already told her they wouldn't handle her case anymore.  And it looks like the former queen of pop didn't take things very well.

And that's kind of an understatement.

As for the whole "Brit's off the drugs thing?"  Not so much.



I'd like to take a moment to express real concern for her children.  Especially Jayden who was hospitalized.  But also for the fact that two innocent human beings had to be this caught up in the trainwreck Britney has made of her life.


The point is, this isn't even funny anymore.  It's just sad and scary.

(via Oh No They Didn't!)

I have a little pink star that shows up on my profile and when I post comments.

Apparently that star is a big deal.  Personally, I tend to think it is.  It's something I earned, something I was surprised to be presented with.  It was like a birthday present and a pat on the back "Hey, you did something good.  All the time and effort you've put into your blogs and your participation in the buzznet community?  We noticed.  You're cool."

I was a nerd in high school.  About the only thing I had going for me was that I could rant and rail against "the establishment" or against unpopular ideas and opinions.  I was outspoken, angry, revolutionary.  I didn't lay down and take what was handed to me, I had a way with words and I wasn't afraid to use them.  I decided that in my future I wanted to use that way with words to do something, I wanted words to be the focus of my life.

I lost that for awhile.  I lost MYSELF for awhile.  Then as part of my rediscovery I found buzznet.  And the words started coming again.  First they were messed up and whiny and Wentzian, but eventually they became the same sorts of things I'd gone on about in high school.  I was surprised and horrified to discover that I could still rant about the same things in 2007 that I'd ranted about in 2001 BECAUSE THEY HADN'T REALLY CHANGED.

And people took notice.  People ended up reading and caring about what I had to say.  I suddenly had an audience again, people who waited for updates from me.  And suddenly after just about a year on the site I've got a little pink star.  And it's BECAUSE OF THOSE WORDS. 

It is a big deal.  It's something I'm very proud of.  It's something I've earned.

And there's the key word.  "Earned."

It only took me a year and I still boggle over that.  Yeah, sure, when I started writing some of my stuff I thought "Hey, it would be cool if this got noticed/got linked/got featured."  It's true sometimes I write things with the thought of "I hope this gets plastered on the main page."  And yeah, I'd like to use this blog to launch a writing career, to help myself get published, to make my dream come true.

But when that happens (trying to be positive in the new year) it'll be because I worked and I earned it.  It's not because I went to someone and complained and said "I deserve this."  It's because I know deep down I deserve to be happy, to do what I want with my life, but that I shouldn't have to say it.  It should be there UNDER the rest of those words, it should be the one thing that remains unsaid and yet is screamed in every line I write.

I do what I do because I want to be somebody, not because I think I already am.

Perky, energetic blonde	Perky, energetic blonde
Uses magical stars to make things change color	Uses mundane hair dye to change her hair color
Back up has names like “Red Butler” and “Shy Violet”	Back ups are named “Love, Angel, Music and Baby.”
Leader of the Color Kids	Frontwoman for No Doubt
Rides a magical horse	Rides Gavin Rossdale
Ruler of Rainbow Land	Ruler of the L.A.M.B. empire
Considered retro-cool	Did she ever really go out of style?

 

So New Year's Eve was kinda awesome.  After a disappointing time last year, I managed to score an invite to a party hosted by martial arts people.  If you know nothing about martial arts people?  They throw the BEST fucking parties.

Anyway, there was food and fun and Rock Band, which is the greatest thing ever created.  As the guy I was attempting (poorly) to flirt with all night put it, "See, if it came down to 'Should they cure cancer or invent Rock Band?  It's ROCK BAND.  No question.'"

That's paraphrased.  I'd had a few Coronas and a few shots of rum by that point.  Plus they'd been making me sing Radiohead songs I didn't know.

(the car ride home:
Me: That was AWESOME.
Random...or maybe Zen, I don't recall: Yeah.  Except that was the angriest version of "Creep" I'd ever heard.
Me: ...it's not supposed to be angry?)

So after sleeping through my hangover...for the most part at least...I was talking to Random online and she mentioned that one of the guys at the party inquired about my status.  Of course it wasn't the guy I'd been attempting (poorly) to flirt with, it was another guy who seemed nice enough but not really the type I go for.

Which suddenly put me at odds with everything I have ranted about and tried to stand for in this blog.  This was the first time a decent guy had shown interest in me since I started leaving my apartment again.  So...what was I supposed to do?  I wasn't really interested, and in fact the only reason I would be interested in him was that he was interested in me.  Which seemed shallow and selfish.  Plus I wasn't attracted to him, which seemed even MORE shallow.  Like as long as he was nice to me I shouldn't care what he looked like, but he just wasn't pushing any buttons on the "Unf unf unf"-o-meter.

Then I panicked about how to let him down.  Should I play the "I'm still recovering from a messy break-up" card?  Should I claim I'm not dating or looking right now?  Or should I (shudder) tell the truth and risk hurting his feelings?  Because, of course, his feelings wouldn't be hurt if he finds out I lied/made excuses/etc.

I just felt like the NICE thing to do was lie.  Or even just give him one date because he was interested.  And yet that seems so fucking WRONG to me, to claim that the only thing I'm looking for in a guy was an interest in me and a full set of teeth.  And I began wondering if it was due to my own issues, my fucked up dating history or *gasp* my gender conditioning.

Does anyone else have this problem where you feel GUILTY for turning down a date with someone?  Like the least you should do is see a movie, even if you're not interested?  Because I feel guilty turning them down but I can't imagine I'd feel any better if I led someone on and let them think there was interest when there genuinely wasn't.

Does this sound like a social thing or like something I came up with out of my own (admittedly) fucked-up head?  Is it wrong for a woman at 25 to still hold out hope that she's going to meet her "rock star?"  Rock star used metaphorically, of course, except when it's totally NOT.  Please keep in mind that at 25 I have no plans of having kids, so does a relationship even MATTER in my life at this point?

It's a new year, but I'm still rehashing all my old issues.

Minus the hash, of course.