Why isn't 'Batgirl' a valid career choice?

Myself and the lovely and amazing Ari will be live blogging the MTV Movie Awards starting tomorrow night at 7:30 when they begin the pre-show.  She'll be concentrating on fashion and I'll be calling everyone morons.  So, like normal, but with more popcorn.  Oh, and a drinking game she created. More, more, more...

AWESOME! WILL "I'M NOT A SCIENTOLOGIST SMITH has just shown up with his family!

Mmmm...Kim. But why am I watching that girl from The Hills?

Oooooh, and Ellen Page and Jason Bateman are with us. Jason Bateman takes a helicopter? Step up from the stair car.

Okay, I'm looking forward to Hancock. I think any different take on a superhero is welcome.

SMALL CHILD TOSSING! MY FAVORITE OLYMPIC SPORT!

"I don't wanna die from chocolate poisoning."

"The American Mall" looks terrible. And Ari just pointed out that they are trying to find a new Heath Ledger. Not cool guys.

I still don't understand why "Legally Blonde" is being made into a musical.

HOLY SHIT! THE BUZZNET ENTRY WON THE BEST SPOOF AWARD! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO VOTED! YOU ROCK GUYS!!!!!

On Rumer Willis: "She still looks like her dad." - Ari.

Oh, Kanye, are you going to throw a fit if you don't win tonight?

Okay, MTV audience choose Kim's dress. That explains things.

Oh, PCD. There's still only ONE of you that can sing. And none of you can give an interview.

AAAAAAH! CRAZY BITCH! CRAZY BITCH! BE GONE!!!!! AND TAKE YOUR CRAPPY ASS BOOKS AND MOVIE WITH YOU!

RUN BELLA! RUN! NOW CRY UNTIL YOUR BIG STRONG CELIBATE VAMPIRE SAVES YOU!!!!

YAY! SPARKLEPEEN TO THE RESCUE! NOTHING CAN STOP THE SPARKLEPEEN!

OH MY GOD, RPATZ! I IZ DAZZLED, YO!

And I kinda feel like what Kristin meant with that was "And if I had known what I was getting into, I wouldn't have done this fucking film."

Well, that's it. I'm too dazzled to continue. The Liveblog is over, you can all go home now.

Brendon Fraiser, I love you.

Did Paris just say she was "shitting a new show?"

AND WE'RE GO!!!

Not Seth Green's nuts! I WAS STILL PLANNING ON USING THOSE!

Mike Myers is still one of the funniest men in HOllywood. Despite having made "Cat in the Hat."

CHRIS BROWN, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?!?!

DANCE BATTLE! WERE THEY READING MY MIND?!

"Beat It" reference, and tap dancing? I LOVE YOU MTV.

Oh Will Smith. I...yeah. Will Smith.

Jason Bateman: I love you.

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE: Ellen Page

To tell the truth, I started typing her name before they announced her as the winner.

Bree! Your girl Diablo is there! Looking awesome.

Usher is walking. And looking deep. And singing.

But he's not a vampire.

I think this Will Ferrel thing is supposed to be funny. I think that. But that doesn't make it true.

BEST FIGHT: Never Back Down

People saw that movie?

Mmmmm...The Hulk. I am so looking forward to that movie.

Go Coldplay.

I got this image of Tom Cruise taunting Adam Sandler with his award saying "LOL CAN'T HAVE IT 'TIL YOU JOIN SCIENTOLOGY!" Then Rob Schneider comes up behind him and hits him in the small of the back with a baseball bat and yells "YOU CAN DO IT!" and shoves his crotch into Cruise's face.
I have a weird brain.

Yeah, see, Mike Myers is funny.

SETH ROGEN, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!

ARE THEY SMOKING UP ON STAGE?! ARE THEY ACTUALLY SMOKING A JOINT ON STAGE? Okay, probably not, but still.

BEST SUMMER MOVIE SO FAR:Iron Man

Helen Mirren eats Nutter Butters?! SHOCK!

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE:Will Smith.

Ari just hooted so loud.

His son came up on stage with him! How adorable is that? God, how is he such an amazing dad?

WAYNE'S WORLD?! AND THAT'S DANA CARVEY?!

I'm ashamed to admit I have tears in my eyes.

There's something about Wayne and Garth mocking Tila Tequila that I find extremely endearing.

TOP TEN LIST?! HOLY SHIT.

I find it kinda telling that the older stars are laughing, but the younger ones are like "Who are these guys?"

Is anyone else distracted by "Dwayne's" crotch? The man is packing.

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE: Johnny Depp!

HOLY SHIT IS THAT MAN HOT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

I feel that was a total "role" nod. Now stop applauding and let him speak.

Ugh. Tom Cruise. WHAT IS WITH THAT SWEATER?! YOU'RE LIKE THE MR. RODGERS OF CRAZY SPACE CULTS.

Tom Cruise, I can't find anything you say funny. Because I know you're actually insane.

GENERATION AWARD: Adam Sandler.

I...um...he's singing. I'm not surprised, but...why?

THINGS I COULD LIVED WITHOUT EVER SEEING: Rob Schneider in a gold body suit.

Iron Man vrs. Kung Fu Panda? Awesome.

Ooooh, now there's a question: could Christian Bale kick RDJ's ass?

...why am I finding Jack Black getting hit in the nuts so funny?

Lindsay: can't even act through this.

PDIDDY JUST PLUGGED OBAMA! AWESOME!

BEST BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE:Zac Efron

Brendon Fraiser has two movies coming out this summer. I will only be seeing one of them. Can you guess which.

BEST VILLAIN:Johnny Depp.

Wow, winning for both Best Comedic Performance and Best Villain, that's kinda impressive.

"That's nutty! That's nutty!"

Oh my god, people, stop screaming inappropriate things at Johnny Depp.

When describing PCD, you totally forgot "so useless, I could use them to stack knick-knacks on."

...what the hell is THIS? A song about being a desperate fame whore?!

...I am interested to see Ari's comments on this fashion faux pas.

BEST KISS:Step Up 2: The Streets

I always feel like this is a weird category because some years there just aren't that many good kisses.

Oh, that's Elijah Wood. I can't recognize him when he's his normal height.

EW, EW, EW, POOP. I CANNOT HANDLE POOP.

Okay, these guys were funny earlier. And I want to see this movie.

Where is this going?

Did they just bleep "Tits?"

BEST MOVIE:Transformers

WHAT? I figured either "Juno" Or "I Am Legend."

MICHAEL BAY, I WOULD STRAP A BOMB TO YOUR DIRECTOR'S CHAIR. TO ENSURE YOU NEVER MAKE A MOVIE AGAIN.

So Pete Wentz has directly addressed his choice to deny Ashlee's pregnancy to MTV.com:

"Every woman, no matter who they are or what they do for a living, has the right to wait at least 3 months before sharing this very personal news," he wrote. "We wanted to wait until after the first trimester and get a clean bill of health from our doctors before confirming anything, just like any other couple.

"Being a boy I have no idea how to respond to such things and my first instinct was to protect her and the baby.

"It's insane that you can't let happy news brew in Hollywood. This wasn't about press or anything. It was about the health of the baby and trying to find a way to be happy with what should be the most happy time of our lives in the middle of a press blitz. I apologize to anyone who felt misinformed but the truth is, the person and growing baby is who I felt most loyal to protect and defend."

Spoken like a man who is accepting responsibility and putting his new family before his career.  A man who is anticipating fatherhood.  But someone who's still not totally sure about procedure, someone who's still feeling his way through it all.  Pete Wentz might not be the perfect father, but who is?  He's going to put his heart into it, though, and he's going to be there for his child no matter what.  Look at his work with Invisible Children and tell me that the man can't be a good father.



Though, at this point, I would also like to address another thing I've seen swirling around Buzznet.  The idea that with the birth of Pete and Ashlee's child, Fall Out Boy will be over.

LOL N00BS.

Look, people in bands have kids all the time.  Dave Grohl?  Father.  Billie Joe Armstrong?  Father.  Anthony Kiedis?  Recent father.  And yet all of their bands are still going strong.  Neither a wedding nor a baby signals the end of Fall Out Boy.  In fact, I challenge you to read the newest posts at Pete's Blogspot and tell me that he's not getting amazing material for a new album out of this period in his life.

Pete is going to be an amazing father.  And he's going to keep being a powerful writer and a mediocre bassist through it all.  Deal.

If I see this quote ONE MORE TIME in reference to Pete and Ashlee Wentz's marriage, I think I will literally punch someone through the internet.  Really, I will.


Some interesting facts about the phrase "shotgun wedding:"

• The phrase was not coined by Panic at the Disco.  It is an American colloquialism that existed long, long, long before Ryan Ross was even a twinkle in his daddy's eye.  So PLEASE stop attributing the phrase to them.
  
• The use of "shotgun wedding" in the Panic at the Disco song "Time to Dance" is not a reference to Pete and Ashlee.  For one thing, it was written years before the two of them were together.  It was, in fact, one of the two demos that Ryan sent to Pete when he originally contacted him.  For another thing, the song as a whole is an homage to Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk.
• A "shotgun wedding" generally means that the groom is unwilling to go through with the marriage.  Pete was a willing participant in the wedding. 
• While the pair may have hurried the wedding along, it was reportedly not because Ashlee wanted to be married before she gave birth, but wanted to be married before she was showing.  That's not "shotgun."  That's fashion.

So please, please, please, PLEASE stop quoting "Time to Dance" in reference to Pete and Ashlee.  First of all because you're wrong.  Second of all because it's not cute anymore.  It's not creative.  It's just stupid.

Besides, Ryan Ross wants them to live happily ever after.  And has another Panic song in mind for the two of them.

The time has come once again to say "goodbye" to a member of our tribe.

The fourth person eliminated from Buzznet Survivor is:

Pete and Ashlee have confirmed it!  They're expecting their first child.


Yes, that's right, these two are going to be parents!


Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Wentz!  I look forward to the Clandestine Maternity Line, the baby hoodies, the CD of Patrick singing lullabies, and Pete camwhoring with his baby three million times in his blog.  No, really, in all seriousness I do.  Your child is going to be very well loved by you and those you surround yourselves with.  Just please don't give it a trauma inducing name, please?

EDIT: Dammit, Pete, you're going to make me cry and I don't even GET the whole "wanting a baby" thing.

PS: You know my rules: no bashing of the couple or their choices here.  Take it to your own blog and complain.  Only compliments and well wishes in this post.

Ashlee Simpson (Wentz)

Pete Wentz

 

Debut Album	Autobiography (July 2004)	Take This to Your Grave (May 2003)
Debut Chart Performance	Debuted at #1, first week sales of 389,000 copies	N/A (released on an independent lable)
Second Album	I Am Me (October 2005)	From Under the Cork Tree (May 2005)
Second Album Chart Performance	Debuted at #1, first week sales of 220,000 copies	Debuted at #9, first week sales of 68,000 copies
Third Album	Bittersweet World (April 2008)	Infinity on High (February 2007)
Third Album Chart Performance	Debuted at #4, first week sales of 47,000 copies	Debuted at #1
Other Claims to Fame	Younger sister of Jessica Simpson Own reality series “The Ashlee Simpson Show” The “SNL incident” Highly praised performance in Chicago at London’s West End Theatre The “Orange Bowl incident” “Did she or didn’t she” plastic surgery questions (she did)	Nude pictures leaked on internet Member of Fall Out Boy (though non fans are rarely aware that he is the bassist and not the lead singer…if they can remember which band he’s in) “guyliner” Dating/Married Ashlee Simpson
Result	Well recognized pop culture icon, pop star, infamous for some mistakes she’s grown from	Mr. Ashlee Simpson, that guy who’s wang was on the internet, that douchebag from Fall Out Boy

 

In closing: Yes, folks.  She’s more famous than him.  Maybe you don’t like it.  Maybe you don’t think it’s right.  But that doesn’t matter in this case.  I’m not talking about right or wrong or why society thinks the way it does.

BOTTOM LINE: ASHLEE IS MORE FAMOUS THAN PETE.  She is more recognizable in the press, she is a bigger name to drop.  Trust me, you mention Ashlee and Pete to someone who’s not a fan of Fall Out Boy or only knows them through their singles?  They will ask you “Which band is he in again?  And he’s the lead singer, right?”

So, her “using” Pete?  Is a ridiculous suggestion.  She doesn’t NEED to use Pete.  She’s the bigger star. 

This is not to suggest Pete is using her either.  Face it, folks, some things in the world, and in Hollywood, are sincere.  This marriage is one of them.  They are in love.  They are strangely perfect for each other, which yeah, none of us saw coming, but how could we?

She’s not using him.  She’s not going to break up his band (and really, what would he do, go solo?  I’m sure there’d be a ton of outcry for Pete Wentz’s vocals, just look at the success of Arma Angelus!).  She’s going to be his wife, he’s going to be her husband, and the two of them, their dog, and their potential offspring will be very happy.

Another Thursday, another member of the Herbivore Chompers Tribe says goodbye.

The third person voted out of Buzznet Survivor is:

So, at 10:03 a.m. yesterday, People.com finally posted the first wedding photo of the new Mr. and Mrs. Pete Wentz. Or Mr. and Mrs. Ashlee Simpson, if you prefer.

It's kind of lame since it's only the magazine cover, but it does show the happy couple and their ring bearer:



For the rest, pick up the new issue of People when it hits newsstands on Friday.

Or wait until I get my hands on it and scan them. Whatever.

But, based on this, what say you Buzznet? Yay or nay?


RED ROSE: "So awesome!  Totally the King and Queen of Hearts!"

paste: <img src="http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/3/8/1/9/8/4/1/orig-3819841.jpg">


WHITE ROSE: "Could have done better, but at least their smiles are gorgeous!"

paste: <img src="http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/3/8/1/9/8/6/1/orig-3819861.jpg">

Decaydance fam reactions have been rounded up in this post!

So, in case you haven't seen the discussion over here, there's a lot of people saying that if Lyn-Z doesn't want to be known as Mrs. Gerard Way, she should just divorce Gerard.

So, here's my big ass commentary on it:

What people don't seem to be realizing are that there are two issues here, NEITHER of which has to do with Lyn-Z not wanting to be married to Gerard or be his wife.

The first issue is the core of it: she's married to a more well-known celebrity and interviews are going to ask her questions about him or call her Mrs. Gerard Way in order to name drop and gather readers. Like I've said, it's not different from Ashlee Simpson being brought up in every mainstream article about Pete Wentz...her name is bigger, she'll draw in more readers/viewers/listeners in a lot of circles. Lyn isn't getting called "Mrs. Gerard Way" as an insult. She's being called "Mrs. Gerard Way" as a marketing tactic. No, it's not fair to her, but it's how it works. She's speaking out and saying she wants people to recognize her more for what she does, which, hey, she has every right to. And she's probably upset because originally Gerard's band opened for hers, she was one of the people who pushed for MCR to open for MSI back in the day. And now MCR is the more famous band. It's an obstacle and it sucks for her, but it might just be something she has to learn to roll with.

Odds are, even complaining about it isn't going to make reporters stop doing it.  In fact, she's more likely to get questioned time and again about "Why don't you want to be known as Mrs. Gerard Way?  What does your husband think about that?"  And as I've said elsewhere, Gerard referring to her as "my wife" in interviews, instead of as "Lyn" or "Lyn-Z" probably isn't helping.  Because the language makes it sound like he just thinks of her as his wife, not as an autonomous entity.  GRANTED, that is largely a case of Gerard Way's "I Say Stupid Things, So Thank God I'm Pretty" disease, but it doesn't help.  And it raises questions for me of if he really just does think of her as "his wife," or as his last ditch effort to not get left behind when his bandmates get married (before you >:( at me, consider that he's said thing in interviews that raise my eyebrows.  I think he loves her, but I really think he might have jumped into marriage too quickly for the wrong reasons.  Doesn't mean it won't work out, just means there's a high risk factor there).  But that's me.

HOWEVER, there is another issue here, and that's Lyn-Z suggesting that in our society a lot of women lose any social identity other than Mrs. "so-and-so." It suggests they don't have their own desires or likes or strengths independent of their husband. While that's not really her case, it IS the case for a lot of women and Lyn, being a feminist, doesn't like that. You can be proud to be someone's wife, but at the same time still want to be seen as yourself. It's not just a name thing, it's indicative of a particular social attitude: that once you're someone's wife that's ALL you are. It's also eerie because it implies you're someone's property, you're ringed, you're marked, you're HIS.

If you don't totally understand what I'm talking about, I suggest you read The Handmaid's Tale.  It's devoid of sparkling vampires, but it contains the story of a woman who is living as a birth mother of sorts in a futuristic USA run by a conservative right wing group.  Shockingly?  Not a true story.

Anyway, the Handmaids in the story don't have actual names.  They are instead referred to by Of(their owner's name).  For example, if Lyn were Gerard's handmaiden, she'd be known as OfGerard.  And as women are traded or "disposed of" due to not being able to produce children, their names change.  They have no self.  That's the sort of thing I think Lyn is afraid being called "Mrs. Gerard Way" indicates.  As I said, in her case it's a celebrity situation, in other cases?  Not so much.

In the end, Lyn marrying Gerard has probably attracted a lot of new fans to her band, and has brought a lot of publicity on them. But when you're in a lesser known band and you marry a bigger celebrity in a sensational way (and the sudden "OH, HEY, WE'RE MARRIED WTF?!" definitely counts), reporters are going to pay a lot of attention to it.

Especially moronic ones who don't want to do any extra research, despite it being their job and them getting paid for it.

Oh, spit.  Where DID that last link come from?!

So, I figured with the announcement of the poll for World's Sexiest Vegetarian, it would be a perfect time for me to go off on a wild rant about my dislike for PETA.

Let me start off by saying this: I respect people who choose to be vegan and vegetarian.  This is in no way a knock against them and their lifestyle.  Hell, I sometimes wish I had the self control to do something like that.  You're doing what you need to do for yourself, for whatever reason.  And you have given the world vegan cupcakes, which I thank you for because DAMN are those tasty (I still need to figure out how to make the vegan mojito ones I found online).

But I can't respect PETA.  And while I hate to say it, I lose a certain amount of respect for people who do support it.  Yes, this includes Gabe Saporta and Andy Hurley.  Obviously it's not enough to make me stop being a fan of either of them, because they've got a hell of a lot of great qualities aside from that.  And I know that they most likely do not agree with ALL of PETA's aims.

At least, I hope not.

Because if PETA had their way?  A good friend of Andy and Gabe's wouldn't be around anymore.



No, not Pete.

HEMMY.

PETA's stance on pit bulls has been long documented.  And while their official site claims that they only want to stop the breeding of the dogs because they're mistreated, this like so much of their other information is pure propaganda.  Since 2000, news has circulated about PETA supporting the euthanization of pits and pit breeds.  And it continues to this day, with reports as recent as this January showing that PETA's aim to save animals only applies to the ones they approve of.  And, when there was an outreach of sympathy for the dogs following the conviction of football star Michael Vick, PETA only changed their ad campaigns, not their aims.

It's important to remember that ANY breed of dog can turn on you if mistreated.  Which would indicate that the only ways to stop this sort of thing are:

a) ban the owning of any dog

or

b) TAKE MORE MEASURES TO STOP ANIMAL ABUSE

Is PETA doing this?  Well, as far as I can see, their goals are to stop me from eating meat, stop me from taking medications tested on animals, and then maybe stop some asshole from beating his dog, if they've got time.

How does this make sense?  You'd think the protection of domestic companion animals would come before the protection of animals raised for slaughter or animals being sacrificed to save human lives.  In case you didn't guess it, I do support animal testing as our best bet right now, but I also believe that since those animals are being tested on and potentially killed in order to help save my life or the life of someone I love, or to help increase the quality of life for a loved on, I believe that the animals should be treated with respect and well cared for.

A friend of mine worked in a lab that worked exclusively on cats, trying to help victims of spinal cord injuries regain bladder function, to help them not only regain some dignity but to try and prevent bladder or urinary tract infections.  And yes, the cats were tested on, and that part was gruesome.  But at the same time, when the cats were not in labs they were cared for in a welcoming environment, provided with time to run around and socialize and played with by interns in the lab.  The lab also allowed for the rescuing of cats before they went under the knife, and this friend ended up adopting one of the sweetest felines I've ever known, by the very appropriate name of "Lovey."

PETA has suggested that we should be able to work on cloned organs and systems.  I don't know if PETA realizes they are getting into a huge ethical dilemma in that situation, not to mention the cost of cloning human systems to test on would increase the already ridiculous cost of medication in the US.  I'm sorry, PETA, when it comes to a family member getting something to delay the spread of their cancer, or a lab rat?  My family comes first.

I would like to some day see the elimination of testing on animals.  And while we should be working towards that goal, right now it's the best bet we have.  If PETA were suggesting logical ways to do so, I might support them.  But then again, they're too busy making videos to shock people into devoting themselves to cotton clothing and tofu to ACTUALLY try and solve a problem.

In the end, like I said. You don't wanna eat meat?  Don't eat meat.  You don't wanna wear leather or fur?  Don't.  You don't like testing on animals?  Find a solution.

But please, PLEASE: Think before you PETA.

EDIT: Peterismyplaymate has started a group for Pitbull owners and lovers.  So click and join!

Ashlee and Pete have been the Wentz's for maybe 24 hours at this point, but some of their friends are already weighing in on the situation. And they've got nothing but good to say. Read their reax.

Well, despite people doing their best to curtail it by bitching on the internet, it looks like the first stages of the Emocalypse are upon us. 

Yes, that's right, with Ashlee Simpson wedding Pete Wentz and supposedly pregnant with his child, we see the ushering in of the end of all things emo.  The future is bleak, my friends, because once Simpson gives birth*, emo will be over (despite Gerard "Doom Prophet" Way already claiming that emo is shit).  After that, we will be left in a future where conformity is demanded, where you'll all be forced to be happy, and where cats marry dogs.

THAT'S RIGHT.  CATS.  WILL.  MARRY.  DOGS.

However, you can prepare.  Follow these steps and you and your friends may emerge as freedom fighters in the coming days of manditory Gap shopping and radio stations playing nothing but James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" on loop 24/7.  Truly, a horrific future awaits us.

FIND A SAFE SPACE:

Your best bet is some kind of bomb shelter, but a basement will do just as well.  Perhaps head towards a nearby venue and take it over for safe keeping.  It'll come in handy for covert concerts once the world has gone Prep.

GATHER SUPPLIES:

Once you have your safe space, gather up all the supplies you'll believe you need.  You'll need:
- a TON of cupcakes
- About 100 cases of Vitamin Water in assorted flavors
- PBR for those of you who aren't SxE
- Posters, posters, posters!
- iPods and charging devices for said iPods
- PURPLE HOODIES.  I CANNOT stress that enough.  When the end of the world comes, you will NEED A FUCKING PURPLE HOODIE

HUNKER DOWN:

Duct tape all windows and doors to keep any sort of wafting mind control spores out of your hiding place.  If you assume any member of your group has become infected, quickly take them  out without recourse. 

WAIT:

We have no idea how long it will take before it's safe for you to come out of hiding.  Just, you know, stay there until somebody lets you know it's okay to come out.  We'll come get you.

Promise.**


* the birthing will of course take place during a ceremony where, clad in white and pink, Ashlee will be led to an altar by her consort, the oath-breaker Pete Wentz, and will give painless birth to a wailing mass that will reach adulthood by sunrise the next morning.

It's speculated that child will have it's father's horse teeth.

**Promise subject to change.

As we gather at Tribal Council and tally the votes, we prepare for another of our contestants to leave.

The second person voted out of Buzznet Survivor is...



BULLETPROOFHEEB.

Yes, despite his awesome Steampunk take on the whole thing, and his last minute efforts with a LOL CAT featuring his own crazy kitten, River, Mr. Heeb has recieved the most votes this week.

The tribe has spoken.  However, The Heebster will be back as the second member of our jury.

Also, in case you missed it this week, the tribe has been named.  While there was a challenge for this, I have decided to go with a name accidentally suggested by Bree.  The Tribe is now officially known as:

HERBIVORE CHOMPERS TRIBE.

We're down to eight contestants.  New poll goes up tonight at 9 PM EST, right after Survivor would end in the US, had it not ended last week.  And been won by PARVARTI.  Really, WTF?

Ever wonder what rock stars ask for on their buses?  The Smoking Gun has posted the rider (the guidelines of how to make sure the band travels in style) for rock gods The Foo Fighters.




What did I learn while reading it?  The guys dislike floral scents, want something GOOD done with their chicken, want WACKY colored Gatorade, and use wedgie threats without remorse.  They also give their leftovers to local homeless shelters.  Which just makes me want to do Dave Grohl even harder, to be honest.

The amount of alcohol they ask for is impressive, as well.  3 1/2 cases of beer, as well as Guenniss, Corona, Vodka, Jagermeister and more.  Oh, and 1 bag of Doritos.

Check the whole thing out, completely with nice red tabs for the high lights.

Then tell me what ridiculous demands YOU'D make as a rock star.

According to Reuters, U.S. President George W. Bush has made a major sacrifice for those dead or wounded in Iraq.

He's given up golf.

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the Commander-in-Chief playing golf," Bush said in an interview with Yahoo and Politico.com.

"I feel I owe it to the families to be as -- to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal," he said.

President Bush, I applaud you.  When you were faced with the reality of an increasingly unpopular war you still managed to maintain your heart of stone and head of brick and rather than do something like TAKING STEPS TO ENDING THE WAR IN IRAQ, you put down your golf clubs.

I can't decide what word describes this better: boneheaded or assinine.  I think I will settle for assheaded and be done with it.

PopCrunch announced that Perez Hilton will soon be joining the number of "celebrities" with their own clothing lines.

“It seems natural to make products that my readers will love and hopefully some guys will rock it too,” Perez said in a statement on Tuesday. “Some people might even call me a perfectionist, well that person would be me! I’m very passionate about my brand. I have extremely high standards and I like to get my hands dirty!”

“I’m most excited to finally see on the shelves products that are good and affordable for my readers. I actively sought out Hot Topic for that reason.”

“I keep seeing these lines from the likes of Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag that give me nightmares,” he says. “My brand will be very conscious of my audience.”

And boy, was HE telling the truth!  After all, everyone flocks to Perez Hilton to see him use other people's fame and MS Paint to make a name for himself.  So his fashion line will reflect that, as evidenced by these sneak previews I've gotten hold of!

First of all, Perez shows his "sensitive feminist" side with the "All Women Are" top:


CLASSY!

And then his "Universal Message" top.


But it's not just about those...oh no!  He's also got these fine numbers:


Look at the ARTISTRY on that last one!

And of course, how could Perez do this without saluting his two "good friends" Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz.

First off is the "Ash Wentzday Expecting" tee:

So nobody has to bother worrying about whether or not you're pregnant.

And finally, the ultimate in Perezwear, something I call "Dreams Which will Never Be"


It's okay, Perez.  I'm sure if you just keep trying, eventually Pete Wentz will sleep with you.

Or, you'll get hit with enough lawsuits that they'll shut down your site and I never have to hear about you again.  Either way, it'll probably shut your fucking mouth.

So, as week one ends on the first ever Buzznet Survivor, we sadly have to say goodbye to the first of our contestants.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first person eliminated from Buzznet Survivor is...

So, sometimes geek love is the truest love of all.  Trust me, this is going somewhere.

My friend Sari is the biggest ninja geek in the world.  Not like she's a geek who's into ninjas, but in the way that you don't realize she's a geek until you start talking to her and she's spitting out statistics about the number of recorded kills Usagi Yojimbo has.  She found her soulmate in John, an awesome guy with aspirations of being a film maker (check out some of his work with 51 Deep Productions).  Now, they live in the NY/NJ area and are preparing for their wedding in the fall.

Why is this important?  One, for me to plug 51 Deep.  Two, because John works at Marvel and therefor scored tickets to last night's screening of Iron Man.



Last night at 10, I got a text from Sari reading: Holy F*cking shit that was amazing!

I caught up with her today to get her reactions to the film.  She said the following:

• The casting is perfect.  Robert Downey Jr. is right on as Tony Stark ("the perfect choice for a badass womanizing bastard") and Gwenyth Paltrow was equally great as Pepper Pots.
• The dialog was genuine and felt more real than a lot of other comic book based movies.
• The special effects were doled out effectively, never too distracting or unreal.
• Direct Quote: "AMAZING.  Better than any Spiderman.  And it is just awesome that a COMIC BOOK COMPANY can make a better movie than SONY!"
• EDIT: MAKE SURE YOU STAY UNTIL AFTER THE CREDITS!
  

All in all, the film more than lives up to the hype and is pretty much a must see.

Iron Man releases tomorrow in the US.  In the meantime, amuse yourself with Buzznet's stills gallery!

And don't forget, that means this Saturday is Free Comic Book Day.  Head down to your local comic shop and get some free goodies!