The video recap of the panel is finally available online, and I suggest you watch it.  It's extremely informative and addresses a lot of issues I couldn't fit into my write-up last month.  This is extremely important as Congress is voting on the Reform Bill at this very second.

Watch below or on the official Rock the Vote site.

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First of all, Frank and Bob met a giant spider!

Frank reacted quickly by...hiding behind Bob.

Lucky for them, Buffy was nearby and saved them!

Then Gerard showed up and asked if he could try on Buffy's jacket and she said "Um, sure?"

Gerard thinks he looks damn good in Buffy's jacket.  Frank agrees.

Meanwhile, Mikey and Ray make coffee.

Someone pointed out to me today that album releases are on TUESDAYS.  Well, THAT DOESN'T MATTER!  If MCR doesn't want to see these apples sliced up and baked into a pie and EATEN, they will put out a new album by November 9th, 2009!

But alas, this is really not possible.  So we are damned in that everywhere we turn there will be SOMETHING relating to Twilight, be it an advertisement, a blog, an interview or, of course, merchandise.

And really, for me, the merchandise is some of the worst of it.  I know it's unescapable because we're talking about a franchise extremely popular with teens and young adults, both demographics who tend to have disposable income.  But really, sometimes these things go too far (WARNING: THAT LAST LINK IS VERY, VERY, VERY NOT SAFE FOR UNDERAGED READERS, WORK OR FOR ANYONE'S SANITY.  DO NOT CLICK IT IF YOU ARE ON A SHARED COMPUTER OR USING A COMPUTER WHERE SOMEONE WOULD FREAK OUT IF THEY CAUGHT YOU LOOKING AT SPARKLING SEX TOYS.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.).

Most of the stuff is pretty mundane, though.  But it's all fairly sad and generally very tacky.  So, for the next three weeks leading up to the movie's release, I will be presenting you with the best...which is really, to be fair, the worst...of the "exclusive" Twilight merchandise.

First we tackle Rue 21.  Their New Moon Exclusive Line is actually pretty dull.  You've got your requisite Team Edward and Team Jacob tees:

And, well, really the rest of the line is generally pictures of Edward and Jacob with differing background designs and sayings.  It's...really pretty boring.

Boring and poorly thought out, actually.  I mean, look at these:

Oh, golly, gee, my choices are having Edward's creeptastic cupcake dog impression on my boob, or having Jacob's "going to hunt you down and mount you" expression on my boob.  Gee, why not just COMBINE the two shirts so I can have a creepy guy staring out at people from both of my tits?

And then there's this shirt:

When I first saw it, it reminded me of something but I just couldn't quite put my finger on it.  And then it hit me:

It's eerily like something I'd expect from a piece of Labyrinth merchandise.  Which, you know, okay, there's a certain number of parallels between the two movies: both are about a creepy older guy who stalks and belittles a spoiled, entitled teenage girl and attempts to bend her to his will.

EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE IN LABYRINTH, JARETH IS UNDENIABLY THE BAD GUY AND IN THE END SARAH GROWS UP, STANDS UP TO HIM AND DEFEATS HIM RATHER THAN MARRYING HIM AND CARRYING AROUND HIS UTERUS NOMMING HELLSPAWN.

*catches breath*

Rue 21 doesn't stop with the t-shirts, though.  They also offer movie posters and, um, Twilight candy bars.

Cream filled Twilight candy bars.

Make your own "Cream filled" joke here, please.

In summation: Rue 21's line is fairly boring and really left me without much to mock.  Fairly standard movie-tie-in merch.

The best item:

I actually find this Forks High School Athletic shirt kind of cute.

The worst item:

Hard to choose not because of badness but because of general boring-ness.  But I think I settled on this shirt if only for Edward's creepy gaze.

Join me again next week when I take on the official New Moon merch from Nordstrom, including jewelry and cosmetics!

Strangely, all of them have begun to act like their namesakes.  It's kind of weird, actually.

Gerard got into my comic books.

Frank was upset that I didn't have a puppy for him to play with, but he ended up making friends with my lucky stuffed French Lab Rat, Marcel.

Ray and Mikey pretty much chilled out and played video games together.  Though they did end up complaining about my lack of selection.

And Bob is so damn pimp, he spent the day in a tropical paradise, hanging out with Wonder Woman and former WWE Diva Amy "Lita" Dumas.  

Do you feel any compassion for these apples yet, My Chemical Romance?  DO YOU?  Well, if so, YOU'D BETTER MOVE ON THAT ALBUM.  Because, as a reminder, if I do not have a new My Chemical Romance album by MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9TH, I will BAKE THESE APPLES INTO A PIE AND EAT THEM!

It is almost the end of 2009 and we still do not have a new My Chemical Romance CD.  We have put up with update after update from the band during their studio time, yet we still do not have a follow-up to The Black Parade.  I cannot deal with this anymore.  This is a matter of dire consequence.[cut=Read on...]

So, inspired by the genius of Mileysavefuzzy.com, I have decided to make my demands very clear.

Here is what is at stake:

Those are five apples.  Five innocent apples.  I have named them after the five members of My Chemical Romance (Frank is the one who has climbed up to perch on top of the other apples because he is very short, in case you were wondering).  Why is this important?  Well, I will tell you.

IF I DO NOT HAVE A NEW MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE CD BY MY 27TH BIRTHDAY ON MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9TH, I WILL SLICE UP THESE APPLES, BAKE THEM INTO A PIE AND THEN I WILL EAT THE PIE.

This is no laughing matter!  This is a life or death or pastry situation!  Can you live with yourselves, MCR, knowing that these apples which are your namesakes have been BAKED INTO A TASTY CRUST AND DEVOURED?  Could you go another day knowing that such a brutal thing happened WHEN YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED IT?

THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT, MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE.  I SUGGEST YOU NOT MAKE THIS CHOICE LIGHTLY.

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Apparently the world decided that it would, for once, humor me.  Because Lilith Fair, the all women's music festival, will return in 2010.

Founded by Sarah McLachlan, the festival ran from 1997 to 1999 and was marked by it's dedication to women in music.  Acts such as Tegan and Sarah, Queen Latifah, Christina Aguilera, The Dixie Chickss, Sheryl Crow and McLachlan herself played the festival's stages.  Lilith was one of the high grossing tours in the world and brought in an impressive amount of money for local charities.

So far, the new Lilith site has announced the first round of cities and has promised more in the future, as well as announcing bands and artists to be featured on the tour.  You can also follow the Lillith Fair Twitter, @lilithfair. 

Could this mean the women's revolution in music is finally coming back?  Or is a decade later a decade too late for Lilith to help women re-establish their place in the music world?

However, Pete did have something in common with an overwhelming number of 23 year olds: he had no health insurance.  And according to what he said in a forum on Wednesday night, hosted by Passtheball.com and Rock The Vote, his choices amounted to either pay for health insurance or put gas in the van.  Insurance or buy a new amp. Insurance or promotion for the band. [cut=Read more...]

I'm opening with this story as a way of impressing upon you why an article on healthcare reform is appearing on Buzznet.com.  I know many of you complain anytime political opinion or debate mixes with music, but please, bear with me here.  Because while you generally might not care about politics, teens and young adults are one of the age groups who need to be most concerned with the state of healthcare reform.  Why?  Because young adults are twice as likely to not have health insurance coverage through their employer.  1/4 of young adults, people between the ages of 18 and 29, report having some kind of medical debt and 1/3 of them have problems paying their medical bills.  In fact, that age group is the most likely in the US to be uninsured.

And health insurance and health issues do constantly affect the musicians that many of you care about.  Pete Wentz broke his foot during a concert after an ill-thought-out leap from a speaker.  Gabe Saporta of Cobra Starship and Bill Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel both suffered from vocal cysts which threatened their careers.  In early 2007, The Cab crashed their van and were very, very lucky to escape without any major injuries.  And of course, let's not discount the fact that even without career related problems, artists still get sick.  In fact, Andy "The Butcher" Mrotek, drummer for The Academy Is..., was just recently in the hospital because of flu-like symptoms he developed while on the Alternative Press Fall Ball Tour.

More than likely, none of these people have health insurance through their labels.  As Rock For Health explains "The artists see no benefits, no health insurance, nothing. Musicians are not seen as employees of a record label. They are 'temps' – temporary employees – because of the record contract that they sign. They sign their career and lives over to these labels, which help develop it and help it grow."

Let's not forget that it's not just the bands who make a tour happen.  Every tour includes a crew that helps get the show ready, go off without a hitch, and keep the bands fed.  And none of those people are given insurance, either.  Mark Hoppus, in an open-ed piece for The Huffington Post, relates the story of Ali, a caterer on the recent Blink-182 tour, who was rushed into the ER with appendicitis.  While the doctors managed to remove her appendix before it burst, Ali found herself uninsured and faced with bills which total over $42,000.  Ali has set up a site to take donations to help her cover the costs and Hoppus himself has pledged to match every donation dollar for dollar until Ali's bills are paid off.

But this shouldn't be necessary.  There is no reason in a first world nation where someone should be completely uninsured.  In fact, the USA is the only first world nation and only democratic nation that does not provide affordable healthcare for all of it's citizens.  While the very lowest income bracket has the option of Medicaid, let me assure that is only the lowest income bracket.  I know from personal experience how difficult it is to get government assistance, no matter how badly you need it. 

Right now, this issue is being heavily debated in Congress.  Both the House and the Senate are working on drafts of a Healthcare Reform Bill as we speak.  Er, type.  According to Rock the Vote, the three biggest things they are pushing to see included are:

1. Make insurance affordable for everyone by capping pay on premiums, out of pocket expenses and copays and/or provide a public option.
2. Allow young adults to stay on their parents' healthcare plan until the age of 26 (rather than being removed at 19 or when you graduate college).  Also, allow young adults who have left their parent's coverage, either for coverage provided by a college or a job, to return to their coverage if they lose theirs (ie: graduating from college, losing a job).
3. End discrimination for pre-existing conditions (right now, you can be turned down for health coverage for any number of reasons, including having cancer, being HIV positive, having had a C-section, being pregnant or being a victim or rape or domestic violence) 

One of the things Pete kept repeating during the forum on Wednesday night was that young adults needed to be informed of the facts because a lot of the information being provided is misleading.  He said that a lot of people are trying to make the situation much more complicated than it really is, and that this is not a partisan issue, it is an issue of human rights.  On tour he has seen countries such as Canada and France where everyone does have access to healthcare and it works.

In the spirit of Pete's words, here are some quick facts that I feel need to be cleared up:

• This would not be FREE health insurance for everyone.  It would be low cost.  There would also be a sliding scale to determine whether or not you qualify for a government subsidy to help you pay for insurance and how much help you would receive.
• If you or your parents get your health insurance through a place of employment, nothing would change.  The employer based system would not be touched, except for one way: no insurance carrier would be able to drop you because you got sick or they thought it costs too much to insure you.  Meaning your coverage would become more secure.
• The public option, if it is included in the final bill, would not be manditory.  It is exactly what the name says it is, an option.  It would, however, force private insurance companies to compete for customers, which could lead to them offering lower costs and better coverage for less.
• This reform will not solve everything and it is not meant to.  It is a step towards a healthier America, but just because it's in place does not mean a magical change will happen overnight.  

I have only briefly touched on the issue here.  There is not nearly enough space for me to address everything that was even addressed in the hour long forum (which will be archived online by Monday, hopefully.  I will provide a link as soon as it is live and suggest you watch!), let alone all the information out there available on the issue.  And I urge all of you to seek out information, educate yourself, discuss the situation with friends and family, and decide for yourself.  And, if you want to, take action.  Rock the Vote has a fantastic site with information on how you can get involved and help work for this reform.

And remember, this is a change that will directly impact your generation, both those of you on your own and those of you who won't be in danger of losing your parent's coverage for a few years.  It's your lives and your health, protect them.

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And now, that hard work is being recognized by Do Something.org.  Because Pete is nominated as a possible member of their "20 Celebs Gone Good."

Pete made the cut of the top 100 celebs currently listed on the voting site, along with other names such as Bono, Bruce Springsteen, Pink, Neil Patrick Harris, Nicole Kidman, Darryl Hannah and more.  His brief bio on the site reads "In the past, Pete has worked on issues like suicide prevention. This year he took it to an international level, fighting for child soldiers in Uganda by teaming up with Invisible Children and their "Rescue" campaign."

Want to vote for Pete and/or check out the other nominees?  Then head over to the online ballot and vote!  And while you're there, check out their information on causes such as Dating Abuse, Music Education, Environmentalism and others and see how you can get involved to make a difference.

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I am not making this up:

Edward, the romantic hero of the Twilight series, is a sweet, screwed-up high school kid, and at the beginning of his relationship with Bella, she is attracted to him because he is strange, beautiful, and seemingly repulsed by her. This exact scenario happened several times in my high school between straight girls and gay guys who either hadn't figured out they were gay or were still in the closet. Twilight's fantasy is that the gorgeous gay guy can be your boyfriend, and for the slightly awkward teenage girls who consume the books and movies, that's the clincher. Vampire fiction for young women is the equivalent of lesbian porn for men: Both create an atmosphere of sexual abandon that is nonthreatening. That's what everybody wants, isn't it?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, back up here.  Let's address this bit by bit, okay?

First of all, yes, there is something to the vampires as a metaphor for homosexuality theory.  Vampires for the most part are known for having fangs.  The vampires feed by penetrating a human with their fangs and draining their vital fluids.  Note the key word there: penetrating.  Penetration.

LIKE WITH A PENIS.

Sorry, just had to get that out there.  Yes, some psychologists read the fangs and feeding as a metaphor for penetration and therefor sex.  Which is part of why we read vampires as sexual in the first place.  Even going as far back as Bram Stoker there's the possibility to read in homosexual subtext:

But at that instant, another sensation swept through me as quick as lightning. I was conscious of the presence of the Count, and of his being as if lapped in a storm of fury. As my eyes opened involuntarily I saw his strong hand grasp the slender neck of the fair woman and with giant's power draw it back, the blue eyes transformed with fury, the white teeth champing with rage, and the fair cheeks blazing red with passion. But the Count! Never did I imagine such wrath and fury, even to the demons of the pit. His eyes were positively blazing. The red light in them was lurid, as if the flames of hell fire blazed behind them. His face was deathly pale, and the lines of it were hard like drawn wires. The thick eyebrows that met over the nose now seemed like a heaving bar of white-hot metal. With a fierce sweep of his arm, he hurled the woman from him, and then motioned to the others, as though he were beating them back. It was the same imperious gesture that I had seen used to the wolves. In a voice which, though low and almost in a whisper seemed to cut through the air and then ring in the room he said,

"How dare you touch him, any of you? How dare you cast eyes on him when I had forbidden it? Back, I tell you all! This man belongs to me! Beware how you meddle with him, or you'll have to deal with me."

This trend continued on until authors like Anne Rice and Poppy Z. Brite took the subtext and made it flat out text.  While in the past it had been male vampire biting male victim = male pentrating another male = teh gay sex, those authors among others made it male vampire having sex with male vampire =teh gay sex. 

Now, in more current media, True Blood makes several seemingly direct correlations between vampirism and homosexuality.  In fact, Stephen Moyer, one of the show's stars, has suggested he'd like to see a sex scene with his character, Bill Compton, and fellow vampire Erik Northman, played by Alexander Skarsgard.  And Joss Whedon, writer/creator of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer has admitted in a commentary that two of his male vampires, Angel and Spike, have at least experimented with each other in the past.

HOWEVER, claiming that Twilight addresses that issue?  That's your problem.  First of all, the claim that Edward is "repulsed" by Bella isn't true.  Edward ACTS repulsed by Bella, however it is because he is concealing his extreme desire for her.  Edward wants to bite Bella...Edward wants to penetrate Bella.

Um, and can we take a second here and examine the idea of "he's gay so he's repulsed by women?"  That's just flat out insulting to gay men.  While you're at it, why don't you throw in some more "proof" that Edward is gay: he uses hair product, dresses well, doesn't seem too into sports...it's all bs stereotypes.

Also, there is the part where the homosexual overtones of vampirism rely on the fact that the vampire feeds off of male humans.  Which Edward clearly doesn't.  He feeds off of animals.  Which means a better analogy is that Edward is into beastiality.

Let that sink in for a second.

The sexual politics of Twilight are an interesting topic, don't get me wrong. Edward insists that he won't bite Bella until they're married.  Just one bite and you're turned into something that needs to bite others all the time to survive.  Vampire Bella is so pure and magical she can control herself in regards to biting.  Now, go back through and imagine that instead of biting, you're talking about having sex.  Intriguing, no?

However, the idea that Twilight is homosexual friendly is laughable.  Because while we see a number of relationships portrayed, they are all male/female.  We see two relationships that are infact a child with an adult in an arranged marriage situation, which is written off as perfectly normal and healthy (one of the two couples is even named in a reference to Lolita, a book about adult/child relationships...but, um, it doesn't exactly portray those as HEALTHY).  But at no point are we shown a male/male or female/female situation. 

And one cannot discount Stephenie Meyer's own politics.  We know she is a devout Mormon and she has said that she tithes.  Which isn't a big deal until you consider the Mormon church's stance on homosexuality.  "The Mormon Church will not bow to popular opinion that asserts because 'they were born that way', gays and lesbians should be permitted to live a homosexual lifestyle."  In fact, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints not only actively preaches against homosexuality, but went on to donate more than $190,000 to Pro-Prop 8 campaigns, which lead to gay marriage once again being banned in the state of California. 

So yes, there's a lot to be said about gay vampires.  But Twilight is hardly a shining example and the idea that it's popularity is due to straight girls wanting to bang gay guys?  Ridiculous.  I mean, I'm assuming there's got to be a reason people like those books, but since we've ruled out being well-written, interesting plot, captivating characters, drugs laced into the ink they're printed with, hypnosis, something in the water and girls wanting to have sex with gay men, the search for that reason continues.

But now, fans who wanted more musically from Cash can cheer.  Because it was announced today that Cash is the new bassist for Las Vegas band Play for Keeps.  The announcement was made on Play for Keeps' new Myspace page and was also announced on Absolute Punk. 

Cash joins the line up which also features Cameron Dettman, Brian Jones, and Chris Bryant of former local band Hitting on Hannah.  The band claims their sound "draws their influences from across the board; anything from blues to 90's pop is fair game."  They currently have three songs on their Myspace for fans and potential fans alike.

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